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The Celebrity Apprentice

An exhibitionist platform for the notorious, barely known and pseudo-famous.

Cast:
With: Donald Trump, Rod Blagojevich, Selita Ebanks, Bill Goldberg, Michael Johnson, Maria Kanellis, Cyndi Lauper, Carol Leifer, Bret Michaels, Sharon Osbourne, Holly Robinson Peete, Sinbad, Summer Sanders, Curtis Stone, Darryl Strawberry.

Donald Trump announces at the outset that the country is hurting and opts to walk instead of getting into his trademark limo. It’s one of those small gestures that remind the average guy just how obnoxious the ubiquitous mogul is, which is also oddly part of his charm. (Too bad the same panache didn’t pass to his kids, Ivanka and Donald Jr., who flank him as boardroom judges.)

As usual, the 14 participants test the boundaries of the word “celebrity,” mixing in athletes (Michael Johnson, Summer Sanders, Darryl Strawberry), wrestlers (Bill Goldberg, Maria Kanellis), comics (Carol Leifer, Sinbad), rockers (Cyndi Lauper, Bret Michaels), and a little eye candy (actress Holly Robinson Peete, Victoria’s Secret model Selita Ebanks).

They’re playing for charity, but of course, the game within the game is whether the process can jump-start somebody’s career — or in one case, make them more sympathetic on appeal. On the plus side, at least nobody’s as pathetic in this premiere as Andrew “Dice” Clay was in a previous edition.

The challenge includes having the gender-divided teams operate competing burger joints, trying to raise as much money as possible. And in one of those just-because moments, Trump calls Joan Rivers — who (ta-da!) happens to be with a camera crew when her phone rings — to help vet the two sides.

It’s all moderately entertaining for those willing to check their brain at the door, but so drawn out at two hours as to become numbing and repetitive. That’s especially true of the boardroom — once the show’s signature element — where the “Who should I fire?” hand-wringing drags on for more than a half-hour.

The Apprentice” originally struck a nerve not only with its colorful mix of “characters” and Trump’s ego-driven bluster but the play-along element of contemplating how to operate and survive in the corporate jungle. Now, it’s just another exhibitionist platform for the notorious, barely known and pseudo-famous.

The bottom line is that NBC doesn’t presently have the luxury of saying “You’re fired” to a longtime employee still imbued with modest selling power, even if its “Apprentice,” at this point, is pretty much phoning it in.

The Celebrity Apprentice

NBC, Sun. March 14, 9 p.m.

Production: Produced by Mark Burnett Prods. and Trump Prods. Executive producers, Burnett, Donald Trump, Eden Gaha, Page Feldman; co-executive producer, Nancy Gunn; supervising producers, Curtis Colden, George Sealey; senior producer, Matt Bartley; producers, Joanna Collins, Tina Nicotera, Ryan Simpkins, Andi Ward;

Crew: Camera, Jim Harrington; talent producer, Chuck LaBella. RUNNING TIME: 120 MIN.

Cast: With: Donald Trump, Rod Blagojevich, Selita Ebanks, Bill Goldberg, Michael Johnson, Maria Kanellis, Cyndi Lauper, Carol Leifer, Bret Michaels, Sharon Osbourne, Holly Robinson Peete, Sinbad, Summer Sanders, Curtis Stone, Darryl Strawberry.

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