Oh No He Didn’t…

Your Mama has been getting heaps and hordes of communiques from across the pond–not to mention a ringy-dingy from the folks at Inside Edition–enquiring about an article in the British tabloid The Daily Mail about Brad Pitt purchasing himself a £700,000 bachelor pad in the Hollywood Hills–that’s $1,130,680 to all us Americanos–where he can go to, “help him sort out his split from Angelina Jolie.”

Bollocks. Hogwash. Bosh. A bunch of hooey we say.

Listen children, Your Mama doesn’t have any idea if Pitt/Jolie’s relationship is on the rocks and swirling down the terlit of love nor do we know anything about whether they did or did not meet with a fancy Beverly Hills attorney to draw up papers outlining how they would split their fortune and share their multi-cultural brood of 967 children iffin they were to go their separate ways.

What Your Mama does know–besides that we think that hair ball on Mister Pitt’s chinny chin chin looks like it might have bugs living in it–is that property records do indeed reveal that Mister Pitt did recently buy another house in Los Angeles. But–and this is a big ol‘ but butter beans–what The Daily Mail declines or does not know better than to report is that the house the article describes as oozing with character and including 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a bar area and a cave built into the foundations is actually adjacent–as in next damn door–to Mister Pitt’s longtime compound in The Oaks, a neighborhood in the Los Feliz area of Los Angeles.

On the 15th of January, 2010 Mister Big Time reported that Mister Pitt forked over $1,100,000 for a 3,232 square foot house that, “his estate largely had surrounded,” bringing his multi-parcel and multi-structure compound to almost 2 acres. Mister Big Time also quite thoughtfully linked over to a previous post about the property on Curbed LA, written long prior to Mister Pitt’s purchase, that quoted listing information that described the 1920’s residence as, “in need of TLC.” Based on the photographs, we’d say the house being “in need of TLC” is being kind.

Now, y’all tell me, doesn’t it seem a wee bit strange and–let’s be honest–utterly unlikely that Mister Pitt would buy a virtually uninhabitable fixer upper right next door to the compound that he owned long before he’d ever hooked up with Miss Jolie so that he could get away from his earth mommy ladee-mate Ms. Jolie? Even if what Mister Pitt wanted was a “bachelor pad,” so that he could escape Ms. Jolie and her baby making/adopting ways, don’t y’all think he’d be smart enough to buy one he could actually live in? Besides, it seems to Your Mama’s pea brain that if either of these two were going to decamp to a new crib, it would be Ms. Jolie who would be moving out of Mister Pitt’s Los Feliz pad, right?

It all seems especially absurd when you consider that the couple also have that big estate in France and own a huge house in New Orleans. Mister Pitt also owns an ocean front house in Malee-boo–that he owned prior to hooking up with Ms. Jolie–and another ocean front compound just west of Santa Barbara, CA that he also owned before getting bizzy and making babies with Ms. Jolie. It would seem that there are already plenty of properties where Mister Pitt can go to lick his “dee-vorce” wounds should that become necessary, so this bizness about buying a bachelor pad seems, well, rather silly.

Frankly, Your Mama has no vested interest in whether Mister Pitt and Ms. Jolie stay coupled. However, iffin we had to bet, we’d put our pennies on the spot that says it’s more likely they’ll adopt of baby from Haiti than part ways. But then again, we’re not the gambling type and what do we know anyway?

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  1. SusanSwadley says:

    He bought the property to have an “exclusive compound”, a complete set if you will. It was the only puzzle piece missing. Look at 5748 S Briarcliff Ave Los Angeles, CA on Google Maps if you want to see all of the compound for yourself. He also bought it because Keith Addis, the owner of 5608 S Briarcliff refuses to sell his home and ole’ William Bradley Pitt III doesn’t like to take “No” for an answer. LMAO. What I want to know is, why in November, he was roaming around his hometown of Springfield Mo on a Motorcycle texting about the women he saw. Especially the one who was driving a white chevy blazer?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Brangeloonies please cover your ears because I do think Brad will leave Angelina eventually (probably sooner rather than later) but I’m not sure if this particular house he just bought has anything to do with that, I think he probably just wanted to ensure the privacy of the larger estate

  3. Anonymous says:

    How many houses does Pitt own? How much electricity, water, etc. is involved in the maintenance of these properties; how much time does Pitt spend at all these lavish homes?

    How soon before he jets off to another “green” conference so he can better advise us on the conservation lifestyle, or give heartfelt commentary on world poverty? Please.

  4. Anonymous says:

    what no one has mentioned thus far is that this house BP just purchased was the last house around there that did have a viewpoint on to his property..he bought it to maintain his privacy.

  5. Anonymous says:

    This house and Brad’s main house where he and Angelina and the kids live are right next to each other and both were once part of a 6 acre estate called Briarcliff Manor/Briarcliff Lodge once owned by a guy who was the borax king of early CA. This house was the lodge and has a huge ballroom and Brad’s other adjacent houses in the Oaks which surround this house were once all part of this large estate. Brad now has 2 acres in the Oaks. The original estate gates are at the intersection of Canyon Drive and Valley Oaks. House needs lots of TLC and restoration. Brad got it for a bargain as an estate sale and is already restoring it.

  6. At that price, an “undesirable” might have been able to purchase it and, horror of horrors, live next to the Brange. My guess is he bought it only so someone else wouldn’t

  7. StPaulSnowman says:

    Mama the Gumshoe………you gotta love it!

  8. Chris says:

    Besides, that “buggy” hairball on his chin should be enough to keep her way way away from him. No need to move anywhere.

  9. Anonymous says:

    That was good, Mama, real good!

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