Madonna of Madrid Lists Los Angeles Hideaway

SELLER: Penelope Cruz
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $3,695,000
SIZE: 3,334 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: This morning Your Mama received a lovely missive from Big Dave at Celebrity Address Aerial who pointed our beady little eyes in the direction of a “Balinese Modern” style residence above Los Angeles’ Sunset Strip owned and listed for sale by freakishly fetching actress Penelope Cruz, a.k.a the Madonna of Madrid.

Unlike all these talent free pretty faces that inhabit Tinseltown–you know who you are ladees–Miss Cruz is a force to be reckoned with on the silver screen earning an Oscar for her part in Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona plus two additional nominations for Nine and Volver. She also appeared in All the Pretty Horses, Vanilla Sky, Gothika and Los Abrazos Rotos, her fourth film with Oscar winning and flaw-less filmmaker Pedro Almodóvar.

The never married Miss Cruz tends to keep her private life private but according to all the gossip glossies she has a penchant for coupling up with her high profile co-stars such as Matt Damon, that creepy Tom Crooz character with whom she is still palzeewalzee, and her current beau–the most handsome, sexy and talented of them all–Oscar winning actor Javier Bardem (Vicky Cristina Barcelona, No Country for Old Men, Before Night Falls, Jamón Jamón)

Property records show that Miss Cruz, who speaks an impressive four languages, purchased her Sunset Strip area residence in May of 2005 for $3,138,000. Apparently Miss Cruz only used the property as an occasional crash pad because in 2008 she put the place out for lease at $14,500 per month and the property is still listed as available for locations shoots through at least one of the many location agencies in Los Angeles. This is sort of strange for a ladee known to protect her privacy and personal life like a mama bear protecting her cub.

Anyhoo, listing information and property records for Miss Cruz’s crib both agree that the single story house measures 3,334 square feet and includes 3 bedooms and 3.5 poopers plus a room for the maid or office use. Carved wood doors open from the street into a small courtyard with fountain that leads to the front door. Due to the parcel’s pie shape, the interior spaces are punished with some awkward angles and odd relationships between rooms, i.e. the living, dining and family room areas. Some of the wacky angles and relationships are soothed by the uniformity of the bamboo floors laid throughout the house and when the house was fully decked out with Miss Cruz’s combination of Bali meets Hollywood glam there was a flow to the spaces that made them feel more appropriately positioned.

The good sized gourmet kitchen has all the expected high grade appliances and granite counter tops but we’re a little concerned about the pea soup green colored cabinetry, a color that unfortunately repeats itself on the wood frames surrounding the windows and French doors in the rest of the house. Maybe in real life that hue works better, but in pictures it’s kind of bone chilling.

Miss Cruz’s boo-dwar opens to the back yard through French doors and includes a wall of wardrobes and dressing area with a full length mirror perfect for the pre-red carpet dress checks, sitting area, and a bathroom commodious enough to contain an antique dining room table and two slip covered chairs. We’re not sure exactly why Miss Cruz would want an antique dining table in her pooper but perhaps she like to take her morning tea near the terlit or play Canasta with her assistant before she steps into the shower.

The house wraps around a large terrace at the back of the house. A classic kidney shaped swimming pool is surrounded by several lounging locations and a swatch of grass that gives way to a down slope and downtown views.

Miss Cruz’s nearby neighbors include writer/producer Aaron Sorkin (The West Wing, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Charlie Wilson’s War) and Guinness heiress Evgenia Citkowitz and her man-mate actor Julian Sands (Boxing Helena, 24, Lipstick Jungle) who made the knees of Your Mama and everyone else we knew buckle with desire back in 1985 when he starred as George Emerson in A Room With A View.

photos: Sotheby’s International Realty / Brett Lawyer

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