UPDATE: Teresa and Joe Giudice

Something is fishy in fancy pants Franklin Lakes. Or, rather, something is amiss about 15 miles away in the not quite as affluent town of Towaco, NJ.

Your Mama has just learned from Tittering Tina that earlier today The Real Housewives of New Jersey‘s resident table turner and phrase maker Teresa Guidice too to the Twitter and tweeted, “MY HOUSE IS NOT FOR SALE!!!” This despite an online listing for Tee-Tee and her huzband Joe-Joe’s elephantine faux chateau that clearly showed the Giudice family spread for sale with an asking price of $3,999,999.

That’s right butter beans, Tee-Tee says her mausoleum like mansion of marble and onyx ain’t for sale. Well, hmm…maybe Tee-Tee and Joe-Joe’s monster mansion is not for sale today, but according to the listing Your Mama saw and scoured on Realtor.com, the Giudice digs were in fact first heaved on to the open market on the 20th of May, 2010. That means the Giudice’s property was for sale for three whole weeks before Tee-Tee and Joe-Joe got around to asking the alleged listing agent(s) to remove the allegedly erroneous listing from the interweb.

Here’s the thing. While it ain’t none of no body’s bidness but their own, least of all Your Mama’s, we just can’t help but wonder how Tee-Tee and Joe-Joe are planning to keep that particular roof over their heads. According to their October 2009 bankruptcy filing, the couple carries a hefty mortgage of at least $1,700,000 secured with their titanic Towaco mansion. A few flicks of the well worn beads on Your Mama’s trusty, bejeweled abacus shows that at current rates, a mortgage that size adds up to something just over $10,000 per month.

It doesn’t take a mathematician–or even a very smart person–to see that a mortgage of 10 or 11 grand a month far exceeds the $6,583 per month in pre-tax income Tee-Tee and Joe-Joe claimed on their bankruptcy filing. There is also, don’t let’s forget, that extra ten grand a month the Giudices claim to get as gifts from family members. However and by Your Mama’s rudimentary calculations, even when adding up their claimed income and their gifted income, after the gubbmint takes their pound of flesh and the fat mortgage gets paid, the notoriously profligate pair will have barely enough dough left over buy their bedazzled brood of screeching gurls Happy Meals at Mac-Donalds.

Your Mama fears that, as our not yet fully rehabbed gal pal Fiona Trambeau often says, “It can only end in tears, it can only end in tears.” We shall see.

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  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Janey says:

    That would really bite to have to possibly face the facts of selling such a nice home as that. Then again how much of this is just speculation? If I wasn’t looking for real estate West Newbury had to offer, and I was made of money, I wouldn’t mind owning such a beautiful house ;) Hope they find a way to keep it for their sake!

  3. mama vee says:

    Let’s not judge unless u be judged its like that old saying people who live in glass houses should not throw stones. Let me just say this if all our lives were on national t.v what would people have to say about us. I think that its rude and stupid people who would stoop so low as to talk about children and to be so cruel on top of it I pray u all don’t have kids because if u do remember u reap what u sow so get ready to defend ur little one’s. Shame on u all lets see ur credit reports and bank statements.

  4. Anonymous says:

    What It Is, Is That It Is What It Is! She Can’t Convince Anybody Of Anything Of What She Is Trying To Cover Up! It Also Is Ignorant To Spend That Amount Of Money On A House When You Can Get A House So Much Nicer And Less Expensive! You Should Only Get What You Can Afford! PS. You Should Never Put Anybody Down That’s Not Nice, They Are Human Beings! Be Nice!

  5. Anonymous says:

    Teresa looks like she should have had the lead in that movie planet of the apes,she and those little monkey looking girls make me wanna spit.where she got the idea that she was hot shit could have only come from joe’s short fat ass,and he does look like ha has a stump for a peter lmAo. If she was still in patterson she most likely would be on welfare with those bratty ass little trolls,and gia a model? I don’t think so. I hate all things teresa….

  6. Anonymous says:

    Is there any doubt about the mafia rumors? The extra income from “family”. Looks like the economy is not only hurting his construction business, but his mob business as well.

  7. Anonymous says:

    The Rubble family (Joe looks just like Barney and Teresa like Betty and their fourlittle froggies) are full of BS!

    I hope they move to a split-level 3 bedroom and I will so enjoy pulling up to their local Micky Dees to see Teresa ask “Would you like fries with that?” because she isn’t smart enough or educated enough to get a job anywhere else.

    And unibrow who can lick her own hairline? You ain’t too pretty to work!

  8. lil' gay boy says:

    ♫♫ “One of these things is not like the other…” ♫♫

    Biggest kid on the block syndrome. It’s bad enough that it appears to be at least four times the size of any adjoining homes, but it still backs up to a freeway. Who does that?

    I agree with Anon above; there are no sacred cows when it comes to some things; unlike other previous posters, I too do not believe “kids are off-limits” ––– especially those genetic homunculi.

    Ugly is ugly ––– full stop.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Teresa makes Fran Drescher’s voice and laugh sound like beautiful, soothing classical music compared to how horrible she sounds when she talks or laughs. Her husband looks like he probably has a two-inch pecker, which is probably why he needs such a big house and car. Also, in their bankruptcy filing, it indicates they owe $12K to a fertility clinic, yet on the show, she’s trying to convince him to have a vasectomy. Umm, if someone needs fertility treatments, wouldn’t a vasectomy kind’ve be unnecessary. Makes you wonder if anything that comes out of this trainwreck of an embarassment to the state of New Jersey is true, or if she’s just as compulsive of a liar as she is an overspender. and those children she already has, whoever called them “little troll dolls” or whatever in the comments on your last article about her was correct, I almost spit out my gin-and-tonic laughing when I read it, because I had been thinking the same thing ever since this show came on the air, just glad someone else said it instead of me.

  10. Madam Pince says:

    My admittedly limited knowledge of current bankruptcy law leads me to believe that, under Chapter 7, you can’t keep a house. (This understanding stems from the long, troubled saga of The Banshe’s ex-wife.) And I can’t see Joe & Teresa filing for Chapter 11 with the massive debt load they claim — it certainly wouldn’t be the “fresh start” she was crowing about on People’s website. Not that I’d want to live in what you so accurately describe as “mausoleum-like,” Mama; my tastes are much simpler (and, I’d like to think, sophisticated) than that.

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