Celine Dion’s Private Water Park

Buckle up your safety belts butter beans because some mind-altering new photographs of overly impassioned Canadian singer Celine Dion’s newly completed watery wonderland in Jupiter Island, FL are coming out and, lo-wurhd have mercy, is this place ever a doozy.

In June of 2005, Miz Dion and her May-December man-mate/manager Rene Angelil dumped $12,525,000 on a 3.7 acre ocean front spread on Florida’s fancy schmancy Jupiter Island. In January of 2008, they snatched up the undeveloped 2-acre lot next door for another $7,032,000. A few flicks of the well worn beads reveals that the wildly wealthy Miz Dion spent $19,557,000 on the two properties that combined total 5.7 acres. She then proceeded to knock down the existing structures and rebuild her own private water park with a mansion in the middle at a cost that surely ran to many millions of smackers.

Previous reports reveal the main house, a 2-story, Bahamas-style affair, measures 9,825 square feet and includes 6 bedrooms and 8 full poopers including a master suite with at least one private balcony, an outdoor spa, three fireplaces, and a 460-square foot closet/dressing area. The house, according to recent reports, also includes an octagonal, ocean view living room, a sound-proof tee-vee room, an elevator, and a basement level for laundry facilities and staff quarters. Oh dear. All it would take for Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter’s temperamental house gurl Svetlana to go all hara kiri is to tell her that Celine Dion, a woman so rich she could probably outspend the damn Pope, is relegating her live-in staff members to basement accommodations on a property plenty large enough to house them in separate, dignified, and above ground digs. It’s no wonder some of these staff people end up calling the tabloids and ratting out their employers. Do rich and/or famous folks really think they can stick the help in cell sized basement bedrooms and expect loyalty? Pleeze.

There are also two guesthouses including one with 8 damn bedrooms, an underground garage, tennis court, vast swathes of flat, green lawns that extend from the road to the beach, a poolside cabana, and an octagonal beach cabana where, it has been widely reported, Miz Dion will keep her body torture devices, otherwise known as exercise equipment. There are, according to previous reports, a total of 15 bedrooms and 14 full and 6 half poopers, enough that Mister and Missus Dion will surely need a full time terlit gurl.

But it’s the three swimming pools that really sets Miz Dion’s estate apart from all others. In addition to the rectangular shaped swimming pool between the main house and the ocean, there’s another vast paddling pool that butts up against the front of the house and includes a swim up bar and a gigantic gazebo that juts out into the water. Beyond that is yet another, free-form swimming pool complex with three bridges–or four, depending on how you count–two gazebos including one that is two full stories tall, a tree house like thing, two water slides, and some crazy thing called a “lazy river,” a meandering channel with a slow current that carries swimmers around the loop without them having to exert any effort.

Your Mama recommends that y’all consider poppin‘ a nerve pill and downing a stiff gin & tonic before doing so, but the new photographs can be seen by clicking here.

Property records show that the 5-time Grammy winning Miz Dion owns a 6,608 square foot mansion with 5 bedrooms and 5.5 poopers near Lake Las Vegas in Henderson, NV that was purchased in August of 2003 for $5,056,256. Unless she buys a bigger and better crib, Your Mama assumes this is where the currently preggers with twins ladee will live when she starts back at Caesar’s Palace in March of 2011 singing her heart out and pounding her chest like she’s giving herself the CPR. She also owns the property next door that includes a parking area, guesthouse, and a jungle gym or two for her young tot. Presumably she and Mister Dion also own a house in Montreal or somewhere around that area but Your Mama don’t know nuthin’ about that.

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  1. lorena lazar says:

    If you use water, you should design a pool of their own.

  2. Jules says:

    The water usage issue is bad enough, but she can’t even let her servants (I’m sorry, employees) live above ground?! Talk about tacky.

  3. synched66 says:

    I always suffered with her croaning & crooning, disliked her excessive and abtract performances that accompany her screaching, and am now sold on the whole dislike package – evidently she has no taste, style or even originality. Why on earth would anyone want to recreate an fugly waterpark. I guess all her gay fans and little helpers have abandoned her as no gayboy would admit to putting his stamp on that white elephant.

  4. Tracy says:

    I’m impressed that she had a basement dug on an oceanfront property. Unless it is super water-tight she’ll have an indoor swimming pool for her collection when a major hurricane hits.

  5. StPaulSnowman says:

    How could she not have a water park? Spending all that time in Las Vegas just has to bend one’s sense of what is a normal back yard. Mama was protecting Celine by not mentioning the white tiger enclosure and the replica Taj Mahal playhouse that they have planned.

  6. Jeannified says:

    Nice place…all white, green and light blue (water), but very excessive, none-the-less. I’m sure her kids will enjoy it when they use it. However, I can’t imagine being able to justify that much water usage. She’d need to open it up to whoever wanted to use it on a daily basis, to justify that.

  7. Anonymous says:

    This is disgusting and I used to like Celine.
    This house is very typical of someone that is low class and new to money.
    I would be horrified if I were her neighbors.

  8. angie says:

    Good point Preppy, but on an exclusive, deed restricted island, this never should have happened. I live in a deed restricted, eco-friendly community in Florida too, and we get a letter for something as minor as the grass being too long. I’m amazed she got away with this. I bet the Jupiter Island board of directors will be replaced come next election, and a few new restrictions passed to make sure this doesn’t happen again.

  9. Would I put a water park in my backyard, even if I had the resources to do so? No. But listen my bitter Bettys, Celine has been singing for her supper since she was like 13 years old. She’s the top selling female recording artist of all time, and whatever you think of her artistic output, she has made herself and a lot of other people very, very rich. If she wants to put a friggin’ water park, or the Star Ship Enterprise for that matter in her backyard, it’s her damn business. Isn’t that the American way, even if you’re from Quebec?

  10. Anonymous says:

    It’s atrocious and appalling. Not just the house, but the wasted water and the wasted energy it must cost to run all that crap. People never cease to amaze me. It’s ridiculous.

  11. Anonymous says:

    What’s suprising is that the home she once owned in Miami was beautiful.

  12. Anonymous says:

    This kind of money comes from “singing” what? I presume when she opens her mouth gold and diamonds pour out.

  13. CottonBelle says:

    I used to like Celine Dion, but seeing this house and reading the article, I don’t much anymore. Ms. Dion seems to have forgotten where she came from building such an excessive house. I say house, because I’m not sure any house like this could ever be a real home. I bet she has spent millions on the furnishings, too, and we all know there will be rooms she never uses or even goes in.

    As someone else wrote, money sure doesn’t buy class, and I will add it doesn’t buy happiness, peace of mind, or good health either.

  14. angie says:

    If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I’d never believe it. I totally understand why her neighbors – all of them – are pissed. The sheer magnitude of the waste is appalling, not to mention what an eyesore it is. This one takes the cake.

  15. Anonymous says:

    The water bill must be a little crazy and not a house I would choose in that price range. I am sure that back yard was done for her son and 2 kids on the way. You have to admit if you were 7 years old this would be like the coolest house you have ever seen in your life.

  16. Anonymous says:

    so bad.
    a little surprised.
    i tend to assume that every super rich celebrity is like oprah who only hires the best. not necessarily your taste or mine but nonetheless well done. i mean, it’s hard to argue with elissa cullman, oehme von sweden, nate berkus.
    but not celine.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Money doesn’t buy class. Proven yet again.

  18. Anonymous says:

    My kids and I would love to spend our vacation there…..

  19. Crowley says:

    She used up ALL THE FRESH WATER on the island? That is nuts! As is how much I yelled at my computer while reading that linked article.

    How much money does this woman have? Does this house have a front door? The lack of an obvious front yard/entry is kind of bugging me. I have no idea why.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Old adage – new money = no taste

    It’s just vile, plain and simple.

  21. Dawn Davenport says:

    i just threw up in my mouth

  22. Madam Pince says:

    Celine Dion gives excess a bad name.

  23. Jimbo says:

    I know she’s Canadian, but she doesn’t need FRESH water for all those pools, etc. She has the entire Atlantic Ocean at her doorstep. Use that water and stop sucking the aquifer dry. Yeah, she got to clean and filter it, but…

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