Jim Cramer-Martha Stewart Caption Contest!

CNBC’s Jim Cramer keeps misrepresenting what “The Daily Show” has done in deconstructing bad calls/stock cheerleading by the business-news channel, but he got some advice about his upcoming appearance with Jon Stewart on the latest episode of Martha Stewart’s syndicated show. Cramer’s “woe is me” act wasn’t particularly convincing, and I think he’s been badly advised if he thinks appearing with Stewart is a good idea — not because Stewart’s going to “skewer” him, but because it will further betray just how clueless Crameris about A) why CNBC’s history in touting the market is relevant and B) why it’s utter nonsense for the host of a nationally televised show to act like he’s being unfairly picked on when his shtick draws such scrutiny.

Anyway, feel free to insert your own caption. Here’s mine: “See, and if you swing the roller just right, you can knock off a parolee ankle bracelet with a single blow.”

Update: I neglected to mention a prize. Being the cheap bastard that I am, the winner gets to pick the topic for an upcoming post — within reason, obviously — on any TV show or related topic of their choosing. And they can contribute the first two paragraphs. I know, it sucks, but swag intake has been slow lately. I’ll pick a winner on Monday.

Final Update: OK, we have a winner, and thanks to all the submissions. (Seriously, there’s some talent — or at least under-employed comedy writers — out there.)

After much deliberation, the “prize” goes to “Scott” and “Once we’re done with my viewer’s portfolios we’ll move on to yours Martha.” That seemed to best sum up what the whole mess was all about.

Runners-up: “Put all of your money in Circuit City! Now!” by E.L.M. and “Enough with the pie, lets move on to puppies and baby seals” by Chris. (That last one made me laugh the hardest, but it just wasn’t on point.)


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  1. Lana says:

    Which one is the crook? Wait a minute…

  2. Jared says:

    “Listen to me and I will destroy your dough!”

  3. chris says:

    “Enough with the pie, lets move on to puppies and baby seals”

  4. Jessica Smith says:

    Whoa calm down… it’s not like you found Jon in bed with your wife.

  5. jon says:

    That’s right, Jim. Just pretend it’s the SEC.

  6. jon says:

    Martha: That’s right, Jim. Just pretend it’s the SEC.

  7. david says:

    “In prison, Jim, you shiv with an upward stabbing motion.”

  8. Jason says:

    Cramer: “Martha, I think I just sharted.”
    Martha: “I know, Jim. I can smell your breath!”

  9. watchwoman says:

    “Today, Jim, we’re going to make CNBC sugar cookies, only they don’t have sugar and are made out of B.S.”

  10. Laurice says:

    “Maybe if I keep making a fool of myself, people will forget about my terrible market picks from the last year”

  11. Sara says:

    “Today, Jim, we are going to bake an ‘Egg on Your Face Cake’. I make one every year. It”s particularly good with vodka.”

  12. Scott says:

    Once we’re done with my viewer’s portfolios we’ll move on to yours Martha.

  13. Mark Brack says:

    “Jim – just pretend this pie crust is Bernie Madoff – now beat the hell out of him with this hard as rock rolling pin.” – Martha

  14. E.L.M. says:

    “Put all of your money in Circuit City! Now!”

  15. Bill Wyce says:

    Anger issues…..

  16. Josh says:

    Goddamnit Obama and your “new era of responsibility”! You ruined it for me! My gig is up! Thanks Barry!

  17. Philz says:

    “Cramer bakes a load of sh*t”

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