Veep candidate may have a future in talk shows

Oprah Winfrey wanted to know if her guest, Sarah Palin, harbored aspirations to host a talkshow.

“Should I be worried?” she asked.Palin laughed off the question, but for the record — as communicators go — Winfrey needn’t lose any sleep.

Palin is being coy about a possible 2012 presidential run, though given the high percentage of potential voters who consider her unqualified, that might be a hubristic mission.

Even some conservatives have expressed serious doubts regarding Palin’s political future, with New York Times columnist David Brooks dismissing her as “a joke” on ABC’s “This Week,” adding that primary voters “are not going to elect a talkshow host.”

Not so fast, countered PBS’ Gwen Ifill, saying, “You cannot underestimate the degree to which women will be drawn to her story.”

Palin’s occasional garbling of English notwithstanding, daytime television could be right up her alley. For starters, to succeed there she only needs to win over a much smaller constituency, and as Ifill noted, her “story” and experience neatly dovetail with issues and concerns that provide the building blocks of daytime talk.

With that in mind, it’s not hard to imagine a crisp September day in the not-too-distant future …”Hello, and welcome to ‘Sarah.’ (Riotous applause) I am so glad that you have not been scared away by the lies of the liberal media — the critics and the haters — and will be joining me in this shared journey to progress our nation.”

Also, we’re going to ‘go rogue’ a little bit and look at the big issues, the ones that the media elites probably don’t want us talkin’ about.”

On today’s show, we’ll look at the tough decisions parents face when they discover one of their children is having an unplanned pregnancy.

“Because this is the greatest country that God has ever given the world and we are so blessed and fortunate to live here, we’re going to help families that might be struggling right now because America is headed into socialism. We’ll start by seeing how you too can quit your job and still make lots of money in the exciting world of publishing.”

We’ll also have some experts to teach you valuable real-world skills, such as self-defense techniques if you are attacked by an annoying, perky woman who keeps asking you rude questions about what you read.

“As part of that fashion segment, we’ll tackle dressing for any kind of weather — because moms, you don’t want to show up at a rally in Anchorage dressed for Florida! And we’ll talk about working that baby weight off, which can be especially tough after that fourth or fifth child.”

Later this week, we will look at how to stick together as a family when you learn that one of your in-laws has been arrested.

“I am so pleased that you’ve chosen to spend some time with me today on ‘Sarah,’ which I’ll be co-piloting along with my ‘first dude’ and executive producer, Todd (applause, oohs and aahs), and of course my strong personal faith. Because we’re going to get to the heart of issues the real America cares about, even if I don’t always ask questions the way the freedom-hating media that looks down on ordinary folks like you and wants to coddle the terrorists wants me to.”

“As a working mom, I can appreciate the challenges you ordinary Joe and Josephine Six-packs deal with every day — like juggling life and work, figuring out how to look after kids while traveling giving speeches, and not letting yourself get down despite the lies, distortions and double standards of those who hate our freedoms. (Applause.)

We’ll be right back, after a few words from our wonderful sponsors, who I am so happy have joined us in our campaign — whoops there, maybe I should say quest — to progress America: Alaska Airlines; the U.S. Chamber of Commerce; Wal-Mart; and the new movie ’2012.’”

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