Best Hair: Mary-Louise Parker

It's not obsession if it's, like, really, really justified, is it?

Mary-Louise’s hair is perfect. When she yells at Esteban, the Mexican exchange student, she swings her hair around better than when Miley did the pole dance.

On Tuesdays, Mary-Louise sits in the quad leaning on the big tree. I like to sit behind her, watching the sunlight on her hair. One day, she turned and saw me. I smiled. I guess too fast, because my retainer fell out.

She picked it up and gave it back to me. Up close Mary-Louise smells nice, like mocha-latte baby formula.

Six days later, I knew after gym she’d be in the showers. I waited in the towel hamper until everyone was gone and jumped out to make her laugh, but she didn’t. I guess I should have left the lights on.

To make it up to her, I got in her shower and offered to wash her hair, but she said she had to go to class.

I asked her if she wanted to join the Gamers Club. As president I have the authority to give her full membership even if she doesn’t own an Xbox.

I told her I would teach her to play Halo, and I guess I did that thing my mom accuses me of and opened my mouth too wide. When I said “portal” my mouth filled with shower water, and my retainer fell out again.

But after she left, I found it in the drain with three strands of her hair.

My friend Dakota says it’s the exact same color as my hair. And that when I wear my denim miniskirt and halter top, I look like Mary-Louise Parker. Haha … Dakota’s crazy.

So, please vote for Mary-Louise for best hair. If she wins, she would be really happy and run in the halls kissing everyone. I would def kiss her back, haha, just kidding, LOL.

I’ll wait by her locker just in case.

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