Your Mama Hears…

…From two well placed real estate busy bodies that the architecturally significant home of recently deceased actor Ricardo Montalban will soon to hit the market with an asking price around $20,000,000.

Although Señor Montalban was in the bizness of show for some seven decades, Your Mama’s first memories of him are from the mid-1970s when his wonderfully trilled and accented English showed up on our colossal console tee-vee touting the elegance, affordability and soft Corinthian leather seats of the Chrysler Cordoba. As memorable as those commercial gems are and although he appeared in over 100 films and boob-toob programs, Señor Montalban will, of course, always be remembered for his signature role as the enigmatic and kinda creepy Mr. Roarke on Fantasy Island.

Property records reveal Mexican born Señor Montalban picked up his Oriole Drive property way back in August of 1982 when he paid Hard Rock Cafe founder Peter Morton $630,000 for the 1.22 acre parcel. It’s unclear to Your Mama whether or not a residence existed on the property at the time of Señor Montalban’s purchase, but we do know that in the early 1990s the suave Señor commissioned legendary Mexican architect Ricardo Legorreta to design a sophisticated and contemporary crib that would provide the Montalban clan all the privacy and security they desired.

The resulting structure is 6,678 square feet of stacked volumes, solid planes and well placed voids that manage to provide privacy and take advantage of the views provided by the site’s location high on a promontory at the very tippy top of an area above the Sunset Strip known as The Bird Streets. Property records show the house includes 5 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms and both of our sources whispered that although the house is magnificent, it’s become a bit shabby and will require updating, upgrading and, natch, a nice gay decorator to do the architecture justice.

Two other large lavish estates occupy the same promontory as Señor Montalban’s casa. Immediately next door is hedge fund honcho Robert Krail who purchased his 9,691 square foot Italian villa style pile in September of 2006 for $19,500,000 and has it back on the market with a blistering asking price of $28,000,0000 (lowered from $29,000,000) and next to Mister Krail is motivational speaker and super Scientologist Grant Cardone and his ackturuss wifey Elena Lyons who shack up in Lionel Ritchie’s old residence. Although not currently on the open market, the couple have unsuccessfully attempted to sell their 6,099 square foot architectural white elephant on and off ever since 2005 for prices ranging from $14,900,000 to $17,500,000.

Photos: (top) Pacific Coast News; (bottom) Legorreta & Legorreta

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  1. Anonymous says:


  2. Anonymous says:

    Poor baby. You’re tired? Close your browser and get off the internet then. Don’t expect others to provide you with something to read than rant when you don’t like what you read. That makes you no better than avg joe.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Who cares? Why don’t you people actually write something that has to do with this blog rather than spout venom and stroke your own needy egos? It’s just so tiresome anymore.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Actually, the “prince” posts all came from the same IP address. There are a couple of earlier anon posts from that IP address as well so it appears our friend the prince took a little while to come up with a persona.

    What the children might find interesting is while “avg joe” posts come from more than one IP, they all come from the same pool – as in IP addresses belonging to a single ISP. This would indicate he is using a cheap dynamic IP account to access the internet.

    Every post from “avg joe” claiming he is not the “anon” who writes like “avg joe” can be matched to a post from said “anon”. So if it isn’t “avg joe”, it is someone in his immediate area with access to the same ISP at the same time. My professional experience says it is in fact “avg joe” posting as “anon”.

    BTW, the “avg joe” posts aren’t coming from Beverly Park.

  5. Anonymous says:

    prince why are you using 3 names posts from the same ip address ?

  6. Oliver Ashmead IV, Esq. says:

    I am the royal solicitor with the Prince’s staff. Prince Johan has left the country for a holiday on his private island. I regret that Average Joe’s location was disclosed as the LAPD have been working closely with the FBI on the allegations of fraud. They had been certain they would catch him meeting with co-conspirators but so far have only seen him approach innocent citizens on the street asking for spare change. Please refrain from further discussion about this alleged criminal so the authorities are able to complete their investigations.


  7. Kieran says:

    L.A properties always look like trash from ariel view, this is one of them! The desert plants, industrialised roofs, and concrete do not paint a nice picture. But this house is really like on closer inspection, I love the achiture and design. It is very original. I think it would be worth $20mil if it had more out door entertaining space and a patch of luch green lawn. I like the hedge, its the only green thing on the property and its cool how it keeps those out buildings in there own space, its a shame the hedge dsnt stretch the length of the property. Nice place!

  8. loyalsubjkt says:

    Your Johanness………where have you been? You are playing Joe like a Stradivarius. It’s great fun to watch………with any luck……..he will pull a Rumpelstilzkin on us.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Gee Joe – Someone hitting to close to home[less]?

  10. :{} avg joe says:

    Prince turd I am here and you are not

    so FUCK OFF YOU TWAT !!!!!!!

  11. Prince Johan Franco Von Schueltz says:

    I have spoken with the relevant authorities and they have assured me that Average Joe is not in Beverly Park – North or South. Several owners in both communities have restraining orders against him due to his bullying attempts to get them to invest in some get rich quick scheme. An anonymous tip line call has placed him under a closed lifeguard tower on Venice Beach. His 1975 Ford Pinto was found illegally parked near Westminster & Speedway. A 911 call reported a person vaguely fitting his description in nearby Westminster Park exposing himself to drivers on Pacific Ave.

  12. Ida Slapter says:

    Oh Puleez Joe..Liken youd be gittin in them gates (or the pearly ones past the blessed St. Peter) witout strappin yur skinny azz to the underside of a trash truck.

  13. :{} avg joe says:



    that is without getting arrested or shot

  14. Prince Johan Franco Von Schueltz says:

    I am so disappointed now. I was discussing this situation with Donald Trump as we were visiting Ed McMahon & Zsa Zsa Gabor in the hospital.

    They all told me we had been far too kind to Average Joe and that he would turn on us like a chipmunk with rabies.

    I could not believe them. But now look how he repays our kindness.

    I will find where he is hiding in Beverly Park. If it is with Bisno, he owes me. I will demand honor for my crown.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Prince Johan Franco Von Schueltz

    you are a turd

    so this one is for you

  16. CommonerKooKoo says:

    i am loving the prince! you go on your with your royal sassiness!

  17. Anonymous says:

    Landrys quality is very much theme park/ Las Vegas. Lots of cheap quality that looks good from far but far from good.
    best one he has done is the Saban home in Bev Park and the biggest plot of land in Bev park

  18. Conchita Guevara-Flores, Teles Properties says:

    Things that make you go hmmmm…

    “Joe” says he lived on Cole Crest from 1992 until *recently*.

    The house a few doors away from his latest infatuation – was built in 1991…….


    ..Forclosed on *recently*.

    Now fire sale priced at 769k.

  19. Prince Johan Franco Von Schueltz says:

    How dare you question my royal lineage after all we have done to try and help you.

    How many times did gardener try to bring you leftovers from the dinner table? And offer to take you to the LAHSA office?

    No one is making fun of you. It is both crass and tasteless to make fun of the mentally disabled.

    We have nothing but pity for you and your sad little existence.

  20. :{} avg joe says:

    That was a good one prince

    or are you a pauper ?

    I would say pauper

    it is funny how all of you make fun of me, but remember this

    no matter how much you make fun of others because you may think they are idiots, it will not make your life any better so you that make fun of me should get a life or “don’t” it has no effect on me or my life


  21. Anonymous says:

    you go on with your bad self, Prince! That’s funny as hell!

  22. Prince Johan Franco Von Schueltz says:

    As a long time homeowner on Cole Crest, I must admit Average Joe was living on Cole Crest. I was his landlord. At least I tried to collect rent from him when we discovered he had set up a tent under our overgrown bougainvillea. I can’t say how long he was there before gardener discovered him. We tried pesticides, bee colonies, and red ants. I recently remarried a lovely young woman I met at my friend Hugh Hefner’s. When she moved in, she brought with her two Canary Island Mastiffs. We fenced the perimeter of the property to allow the dogs to run free. I hadn’t seen Joe since. We did see some shreds of clothing and assumed the dogs ate him. I am deeply saddened to learn he is squatting in the home of one of my fellow billionaires in Beverly Park. They are welcome to rent the mastiffs for a few days.

  23. Hippie Canyon says:

    OMG, all the forgoing bitching. I feel like I just relived every childhood Saturday dinner.

  24. Anonymous says:

    “if I spoke like this in front of my friends they would have me shot or put away”

    Now THAT I believe. Might be the first truthful thing you’ve posted.

    Lord knows we’ve all wanted to shoot or have you put away.

  25. avg joe :{} says:

    believe what you want

    it will not affect me one way or the other

    this blog is great for me because if I spoke like this in front of my friends they would have me shot or put away

    no joke

    it is like I can be another personality on here and see if I am nuts for my beliefs or is real estate really going to come crashing down and if I find a good buy ? I will pay cash for it, financing is a very tricky game

  26. Anonymous says:

    Lying sack of shit. You can’t even keep your own lies straight.

    I can’t believe you even bother. Every single person that reads this blog knows your comments are as worthless as AIG stock.

  27. avg joe :{} says:

    I lived on cole crest since 1992 up to a few months ago, not 1972 and I now rent in beverly park

    if I had known prices would go up 1500-2000% I would have certaintly bought in the 90’s

    what can I say I missed out

    and the next gold rush is not for another 20 years ? by then I will be to rich to care about it, I will continue to rent for the rest of my life, as of now I live in a 30MM estate for a tenth of the price in rent and that is a pretty good trade off you think ? and for the record from my understanding those that live in beverly park for the most part are set for the next 1000 years even if the economy ends, they are brilliant at moving money around, investing in tangible companies and so forth, they are selling at these prices to see if they can get them, it is a game to them to be perfectly honest, at least that is what I overhear at the cocktail parties.

  28. Anonymous says:

    Uh… Average Joe???

    You’ve lived on Cole Crest since 1972??

    All the children have to do is click on the story Mama just wrote about Beverly Park where you claim you are living in a rented floor of a Beverly Park house.

    Or the older children will recall that we have been hearing for 2 years about how you DON’T OWN because you are waiting for the prices above Sunset to drop.

    Now WHY would anyone who has owned a house on Cole Crest for 35+ years say they were waiting for prices to drop?

    “just saying”

  29. Anonymous says:

    Reminds me of a stark office building.

  30. Horace Trumbauer says:

    For insightful Landry comments you should check out PCH’s comments on Mama’s Nov. 27, 2007 posting. He did have an early job as a theme park designer in Santa Barbara and that may explain some things.

  31. Anonymous says:

    Great architecture by a talented architect – the house is fabulous!

  32. I am curious about the Richard Landry comments. Is it possible that he did more than a handful of houses in this area? I saw him interviewed on “Beautiful Homes and Great Estates” and he seemed thoughtful and passionate about his work. Unfortunately, the house being featured had an almost theme park quality about it with many overproportioned minimally useful rooms. If he has won that many commissions, he must have really tapped into an aesthetic favored by the super-wealthy. I guess you can’t argue with success.

  33. Anonymous says:

    goodbye then, Joe. Don’t let the door hit in the ass etc.

  34. HotSauce says:

    Praise Jesus! There’s a lot of love in this here blog! Now don’t y’all feel better? We can’t be fussin and scrappin on a Friday night! Grab a cold one and a valium and read Mama’s latest installment. It’s juicy as all get out! Bye Bye!

  35. avg joe :{} says:

    I am calling a truce here,

    I would not want to see this blog get deleted by google as they have been lately deleting thousands of blogs recently for no reason at all,

    and despite of what I have been saying, I do like this blog, I do want the market to go back up, and I want real estate to level off to 2000 pricing,

    just sayin

  36. Anonymous says:

    On June 1, the Los Angeles Police Department responded to a 911 call stating that a woman was fatally shot in a home at 8581 Cole Crest Drive near Laurel Canyon. Police officials arrived at the scene of the crime, found several individuals, including Mahler, and brought all of them in for questioning at the Hollywood Police Station.


  37. Anonymous says:

    Oh dear.. I recommend Mama’s RealEstranquilizer© vitamins with a dose of her RealEstonicgin© elixer to wash them down with. Best ride you’ll ever have regardless of driving conditions ;)

  38. avg joe says:

    I am not fighting

    I am just saying that unless you have lived on cole crest, grandview, blue heights you will have no clue as to what I am talking about with the difficulty of the rain, fog driving conditions ect,

    and you have to drive through there if you want to get to the top end of sunset plaza for a quick trip home,

    just sayin

  39. avg joe says:

    I am not fighting

    I am just saying that unless you have lived on cole crest, grandview, blue heights you will have no clue as to what I am talking about with the difficulty of the rain, fog driving conditions ect,

    and you have to drive through there if you want to get to the top end of sunset plaza for a quick trip home,

    just sayin

  40. Anonymous says:

    oh sweet jesus Mama the chirren are fighting!!!!!!!!!!!

  41. avg joe :{} says:




    I lived on cole crest drive since 1992 and there have been at least 2 accidents a year on those roads as well as a few murders, I have seen the tow trucks showing up and towing the cars at 2 in the morning, as well as a fleet of cops showing up because a connected uber rich druggie murdered someone at his house, these incidents for the most part never make the news because the owners of media live up there and they do not want their wonderland to be tarnished in the press,


    and like I said

    drive up there and see if I am lying about the lack of safety features, ie guard rails, more than a few street lights, as a matter of fact you have to beep your horn going up grandview to colecrest to blue heights so that the driver speeding the other way does not crash into you,

  42. Anonymous says:

    Well, that ‘Ricardo pile’ is apparently priced $10M more than the Parkhill Estate so that should say something about house/location/desirability … I like the Park Hill place but there is so much of it I’d need to change, some parts of it are hideous … There are nicer ‘older’ properties on the market at the moment ..

    As for the hedge .. It looks unusual but is ideal at blocking the view of the house from the street … Hard to explain but the way it’s angled makes the house totally private …

  43. Anonymous says:

    If you live in LA you live in a place like this – none of the other shit on the market – including the Ricardo pile

  44. Anonymous says:

    we all need to pray for avg joe. you know, a few of mama’s chirren just ain’t right in the head, but we need to respect them. Unless of course they take up too much comment space………..

  45. Anonymous says:

    I am not a big fan of that modern, glass and concrete floor thing with the same boring 4 pieces of furnature that you see in every mag–but this is sort of desert warm, with the browns etc. Also the lack of glass actually works. This place looks “spanish” modern–if there is such a thing. Nice big house too. Interesting, classy. The hedge looks weird from the air but from the ground blocks trash cans etc.

    Mama’s black sheep in WEHO

  46. Anonymous says:

    Moron Joe – I have lived here for 12 years. I know the roads. I know how RARE it is that anyone drives off them. I know the eyesore you harp endlessly about that the whole neighborhood hates.

    IF (and since your word is worthless, your story probably isn’t true) your friend ran off the road, they were drunk (or stupid) and would have run off the road regardless of rain or fog.

    You don’t know what you are talking about so shut the F up.

  47. avg joe :{} says:

    you use them as shortcuts to get to the upper half of sunset plaza, esp if you are in a rush to get home

    when it rains, gets foggy or both they become deadmans curves, colecrest does not have a guardrail to keep you from going over or street lights next to the other estate going for sale at 10MM

    the neighbors do not want to pay to put any up and the city refuses to pay for them, and believe me, many a car have gone over the edge on cole crest drive, I saw it happen to a friend once when I was at a party on cole crest drive

    check it out yourself and see if I am lying, you go from laurel cyn, left on kirkwood, all the way up to a fork, take a left on that which is grandview, then a sharp 90′ turn onto cole crest and go all the way up, through the pink estates driveway to blue heights then to sunset plaza, it should take you 10 min tops, the fortress is 3 minutes from there,

  48. Anonymous says:

    Mostly a western exposure which I find a minus. That hedge is a wonder. Oh, and did I mention? I keep oranges in my trunk.

  49. Auntie Em says:

    Don’t mess with Kansas!

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