UPDATE: Tom Cruise


If the children will put on their thinking caps and go back to May 28, 2009, they will recall that Your Mama passed on a bit of rumor and gossip that we received from Famous Freddie about Tinseltown-based actor Tom Cruise and his baby maker Katie Holmes buying a six story townhouse on West 12th Street in Manhattan’s West Village neighborhood (pictured above).

Well puppies, it seems Your Mama opened a can of worms because now, three weeks later, the rumors are piling up like cars at the junkyard with new reports on Curbed, Gawker, and in the Village Voice who actually sent a reporter around to dish with a few of the all-knowing doormen on the bizzy but beautiful block.

Although two Cruise family mouthpieces adamantly deny there is any correctness to the canard, one chatty doorman on the block told the nosey peeps at the Village Voice that the new owner–whom he refused to name and whom records reveal paid $15,075,000 for the 8,113 square foot townhouse in April of 2009–will not be around much because he’ll be filming in Los Angeles and that the new owner bought the house for his wifey who was recently in a Broadway show. Sure sounds like Shorty and Mousey Cruise to Your Mama* but until Famous Freddie rings Your Mama hollering about how he just spied the first family of Scientology sitting on the stoop sweating out a hot summer night like real New Yorkers then it’s just real estate scuttlebutt.

Since Shorty Cruise’s crib in the American Felt building on East 13th Street is barely big enough to fit his over-sized ego, it makes sense that he the The Mouse would want and need bigger digs to accommodate them, their trio of Scientolochildren and their retinue of minders, handlers, family members, body guards and ass kissers.

*New York Magazine fairly (and rather cleverly) sussed out that other buyers could include Julia Roberts and Danny Moder, not yet married Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy and Neil Patrick Haris and David Burtka who are reportedly getting ready for a gaybee.

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