Marc Jacobs (Allgedly) Signs Contract for West Village Townhouse

BUYER: Marc Jacobs (allegedly)
LOCATION: Bethune Street, New York, NY
PRICE: around $13,000,000
SIZE: around 4,500 square feet
DESCRIPTION: …Each one of a kind 4-6 bedroom townhouse-ranging from 3,800 to 4,800 square feet and 24′ to 29′ in width-has its own all-level elevator, wood burning fireplaces, designer garden and roof top terrace…

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We apologize for our unexpected absence children. Your Mama recently winged to the glittery City by the Bay for the wild and wicked wedding of our ferociously lurid confrere Falsetta Knockers who finally managed to convince her louche literary lover to marry her naughty ass in a performance packed ceremony that Your Mama imagines will be a theatrical tour de force of singing, dancing and, since Miss Knockers can’t help herself, unnecessary nudity

Our pal Patty Cake, who resides primarily on the other coast with her teeny-tiny canine, was kind enough to let Your Mama hole up in her recently rehabbed flat with it’s dangerously slick wood floors and panoramic views over the great San Francisco Bay. Unfortunately, getting our trusty laptop to synch up with Miss Cake’s internet service has proved a futile farce. Therefore, we’ve been forced to pilfer the wireless services of a nearby neighbor who made the mistake of not password encoding their signal. However, the signal is unreliable at best so we’ll do what we can to work our poor fingers to the nubbins and pound out a few words before the signal goes dead.

Anyhoo…on to the real estate…

Late last week, while Your Mama was wrestling with Miss Cake’s impotent internet service, all sorts of reports came out that the ballyhooed and tattooed fashion phenom Marc Jacobs and his Brazilian boy-beau Lorenzo Martone plunked down a wad of cash to secure a contract for a $13,000,000 townhouse in New York City’s West Village. The first report seems to have come from the NY Post which stated that after looking at downtown properties for some time, they settled on an approximately 4,500 square foot townhouse on Bethune Street designed by Robert A.M. Stern.

Well children, let’s be honest, there really aren’t that many thirteen million dollar, Robert A.M. Stern designed townhouses on Bethune Street, so a little unscientific deduction and a few minutes tinkering around on the always helpful StreetEasy website, we’ve determined that if the reporting is accurate (and we don’t know if it is or not), it’s most logical that the sometimes cerulean haired Mister Jacobs and his man-friend Lorenzo are planning on purchasing one of the 7 newly built townhouses that are part of the yet to be completed Superior Ink condominium complex that anchors the corner of Bethune Street and the West Side Highway.

Some of the children who are wearing their thinking caps may recall that the Superior Ink building is the same residential development project where two time Oscar winning actress Hilary Swank reportedly signed a contract for a $3,500,000 two-bedroom apartment.

Mister Stern, the same swank architect responsible for the frighteningly expensive 15 Central Park West building, has done up the front facades of the row of seven townhouses to fit seamlessly with the historic architectural vernacular of the formerly bohemian now atrociously gentrified West Village while the interiors–which can be done up by either Mister Stern or the more arty-farty Yabu Pushelbergare meant to be four or five floors of pure new-fangled fabulosity. Each of the townhouses has private elevator serving all floors, a rear terrace, a roof terrace, all the most modern electronic conveniences and we’ve heard (but can not confirm) through the gossip grapevine that each of the townhouses is accessible via underground tunnel from the parking garage and apartment tower.

To top it all off, according the the development’s website, the entire complex is registered with the U.S. Green Building Council and the developers are aiming at achieving LEED Silver Certification which will make it one of the more energy friendly and politically correct condo complexes in New York City.

The Superior Ink Condominiums and Townhouses are newly constructed structures located on the site of the former Superior Ink factory that was built in 1919. The high-priced complex’s deeluxe amenities include a private screening room, an entertainment lounge, a fitness center with a Pilates/yoga room, a children’s playroom, 24-hour valet parking, and 24-hour concierge and doorman services in the tower.

According to the always on top of things people at The Real Deal, Mister Jacobs is currently leasing a 3 bedroom, 3.5 bathroom apartment at the Jean Nouvel designed 40 Mercer Street in Soho, for which he’s paying a reported thirty grand a month. Retail sales may be in the damn terlit, but apparently Mister Jacobs still has a mountain of money to throw around on real estate. Good for him. We should all be so lucky.

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  1. Anonymous says:

    Very suburban! You can take MJ out of New Jersey, but you can’t take New Jersey out of MJ.

  2. Anonymous says:

    it has a lot of space but I don’t like the floors.

  3. Starck Mad says:

    Point taken, thanx!

  4. Anonymous says:

    The place is nothing special, It’s clean cut, fresh, crsip, modern *to an extent* whatever you want to call it, but is nothing over the top which for the price it should be much better.

  5. After looking at some of these warehouses, it is comforting to know that the well made and beautifully situated Astor’s Beechwood is on the market for a mere twelve million. It needs some work to restore original finishes and colors but would be a great home if any of the chilunz got the dough.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Apparently you’ve never been targeted by joe/ed/bob. Once you have been like I and many others, you’ll understand.

  7. Starck Mad says:

    Sorry “Anonymous”…..but I don’t see why one would ‘hide’ behind the Anonymous moniker? I’m sure Mama would agree.
    Back on topic…..I bet the bulk of Mama’s readers would agree, that this MJ casa is on the beam, and hyper tasteful!

  8. Starck Mad says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Starck – while I agree the place looks modern and fresh, I disagree with your assessment of the “Anonymous” posters. The worst posts have always come from a small group of *named* posters (as opposed to Blogger account posters or anons).

    The name changes (joe, ed, bob..) but the person is the same. Continually seeking attention so he posts a name. Or a variation of the name with stupid “faces”.

    Now he’s attacking himself. Sad. Really. It is no wonder that he admits to hiding his obsession with Mama’s blog & children from the people who encounter him in the real world.

  10. Starck Mad says:

    Again, may I say, the most acerbic, myopic, and off-the-mark comments are by the ‘Anonymous’ camp.

    I think this casa looks modern and fresh.

    If Halston were alive today, he would approve.
    Enough said.

  11. Anonymous says:

    faux brick? hottt!

    whata fuckin dump

    finishes and design in his buildings suck

    15 cpw is a pile… and like many high price lux buildings is gonna be a nightmare when they all try to resale their cookie-cutter luxury condos

  12. why the fark don’t i live there? ’tis beautiful.

  13. Anonymous says:

    I believe you meant Trudy.

    God, you are a smart one.

    Go troll around in traffic or off a cliff already.

  14. Trudy Styler says:

    This will be the one time I address the angry, bitter and nasty person at 2:48pm (which I assume is the same foul mouthed monster who’s been hanging around lately).

    If you really loathe Mama so intensely, why spend so much time here? It must be absolute torture for you to feel uncontrollably compelled to tap out nasty comments on a blog about celebrity real estate.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Learn English Anon 2:48

  16. Anonymous says:

    hopefully no where, every again

  17. Anonymous says:

    where can we see Mama talking?

  18. Anonymous says:

    Mama, has been a commentator and a source on various real estate & news related things.

  19. Anonymous says:

    1:23 – What mainstream success?

  20. Anonymous says:

    One’s greatest cross to bear is ungrateful children…no matter what you do for them they whine and complain. The complaints about rude and insulting comments are becoming a bit tedious in themselves…. So, dear Anon 1:23–stop complaining and write something intelligent and witty yourself… and do NOT dis my Mama.

  21. Anonymous says:

    This site is really going downhill fast.

    The commenters have become ridiculously rude and insulting. And clearly, Mama’s main-stream commercial success has put this blog at the bottom of her priorities.

  22. Anonymous says:

    those celebs love them some robert stern! didn’t Ms. Candy Spelling buy in the Century from the same developer at a sky high price?

  23. Anonymous says:

    They are all computer renderings. The homes are not finished yet.

  24. Anonymous says:

    Looks nice.

    I think the top and bottom pictures might be computer renderings? Maybe all of them? They look just to perfect and clean for NYC.

    13 million will get you some nice renderings from the Mister Stern.

  25. Anonymous says:

    IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER POST MAMA! I NEED MY FIX!!!!!

  26. Anonymous says:

    I have to say I am very surprised on both these townhomes and 15 CPW. The finishes and presentation doesn’t wow me, as it should for the price.

    Robert A.M. Stern maybe a “famed” Manhatten Architect but he could learn alot of Booth Hansen in Chicago.

    Check out the Palmolive building in Chicago (very same buiding Vince Vaughn bought the duplex pent house – most expensive condo transaction in Chicago history).

    The building is gorgeous, kitchens & baths make 15 CPW look like shit and the sculpted ceilings, stepped woodwork, halogen recessed lighting, etc etc all make the NYC counterparts look like CRAP.

    http://www.boothhansen.com/_projects/residential/02.html

  27. Anonymous says:

    http://realestate.nytimes.com/sales/detail/56-943646/15-CENTRAL-PARK-WEST-New-York-NY-10023

    Look at the kitchen and the 8 million light fixtures attached to the ceiling.

    It just looks cheap…. in the most expensive building in Manhattan?

  28. Anonymous says:

    Oh… and those ugly light fixtures need to go.

    This type of money (just like 15 CPW) and you have ugly Home Depot looking domed light fixtures? Puh-lease!

  29. Anonymous says:

    It’s too boring looking.

    The finishes kitchen & bathroom are sooo 15 CPW. Which, if you haven’t seen in person, aren’t really all that impressive.

    I am sad that Mama has been so light on stories as of lately :'(

  30. Anonymous says:

    Is that Jenufleck in the second photo?

  31. Mars says:

    Woooooooow.

    Just wow. I mean that bathroom alone? Wow.

    Wait, am I crying?

  32. Anonymous says:

    someones still drunk….. J-A-C-O-B-S

  33. 4.52 you mean HUSBAND don’t you?

  34. Anonymous says:

    Hiswife has a driver… well, I guess Lorenzo wouldn’t mind being known as Mrs. Jacobs
    as long as his monthly allowance keeps rolling in….

  35. Anonymous says:

    @1:40: okay, so he has a driver, and his wife has a driver, and their kids have drivers, and their kids’ friends have drivers, and their good friends from across town have drivers…I guess if everyone who will regularly visit the house has a driver, then being sited in the FWV is no big deal. Good point.

  36. I am still reeling from the commenter who saw them installing sheets of faux brick to the facade of this building. Tackissimo!

  37. “A long walk to the subway” People who buy can spend 13 million on a townhouse NEVER take the subway. He has a driver.

  38. Anonymous says:

    Freeway traffic noise, blustery winds, a long trek to the subway, and views of New Jersey. For $13,000,000.

    What a deal!!!

  39. Belle says:

    I like the green/moderne aspects of the buildings, but living practically on the West Side Highway is kind of ick, esp. for $13 million.

  40. Anonymous says:

    Dear 5:44: That is certainly a well-thought-out plan. So simple, too (I stress the word “simple”). Let’s do it!

  41. Parantar says:

    the pics are cool!!! they’re beautiful.

  42. Anonymous says:

    I used to see Marc Jacobs every day at the David Barton gym on 23rd, and I was confused, as I thought he spent most of his time in paris and just stayed in the soho grand.

  43. Anonymous says:

    If you’re one bedroom kitchen looks anything like that you must be living in a pretty lavish one bedroom.

    As for the kitchen, it is open to the FAMIY room not the formal entertaining room at the front of the house. There is a combination formal living / dining room and then a combination fam / kitchen.

  44. Anonymous says:

    For that amount of money, I think a kitchen in its own room, not a part of the living room is inorder.

    An open kitchen like that reminds me of my 1 bedroom apartment. Not a 13mm lux living situation.

    I am also curious about the garden area which looks shared with the neighbor. Is there an additional roof top garden?

  45. Anonymous says:

    ^ where’s the barfing emoticon when i need it?

    It amazes me that there are real live communists still running around these days. So sad.

  46. Anonymous says:

    The USA needs a rebirth of radical populism. The creation perhaps of a new party, the “Peoples’ Party”. One of its objectives could well be a tax on excess real estate wealth. For instance: all residential properties valued at over one million would have to pay, every year, a wealth tax of 10% of the value over the one million. So a property valued at 13 million would pay a wealth tax of 1.2 million. Use it to fund programs for the poor. Think how lucrative that would be for California!

  47. Anonymous says:

    Anon 5:13— You’ve been reading too much of New York magazine– yes, a hurricane might come right through the narrows, sending in a storm surge as high as the Empire State– and there are fault lines under Manhattan, too, so NY and every last one of its unreinforced brownstones could be flattened by the next 5.0… one plus-size earthquake while you’re sitting under an overpass waiting for a light to change in our own fair city, and splat, you be dead, girl. Life is unpredictable.

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