Twitter, get me prewrite.
For a shining albeit brief moment in time, the Twitter category “#1stdraftmovies” — theoretical first stabs at famous film quotes — became one of the more memorable diversions in the short history of the social networking service.
In another example of the leveling impact of online communication, well-known Hollywood writers and comedians went type-to-type with citizens whose name value was limited to their screen handle.
Favorite lines were subject to taste, but some first-draft lines seemed harder to resist than others: “The name’s James Bond … JAMES Bond.” “The 1st rule of Fight Club is: No Fighting. I know — it’s confusing.” “I miss my sled.”
“Attica State Correctional Facility! Attica State Correctional Facility!” chanted former “Daily Show with Jon Stewart” correspondent Rob Corddry. “I’d like to order the thing she ordered which gave her an orgasm,” offered producer/performer Mindy Kaling of “The Office.”
“Parks and Recreation” exec producer Michael Schur, posting under his online name KenTremendous, fired off a flurry:
- “I’m funny how? Like I’m a clown? I amuse you? Or am I more nebbishy-funny? Or topical-funny? I’d love some feedback.”
- “Oh no, it wasn’t the airplanes. T’was beauty killed the beast. With a huge assist from the airplanes, obviously.”
- “I could’ve been somebody. I could’ve been a contender. Instead of a nurse practitioner, which is what I am.”
- “My name is Octopussy.” “Come on. That’s ridiculous.” “Seriously, that’s my name.” “…Jesus.”
Fads zip through Twitter’s social networking universe pretty quickly, and “#1stdraftmovies” was no exception, quickly running out of inspiration. Dreams of a second wind might not exactly have been emboldened by this “Shawshank Redemption” first-draft line: “Hope is a better than average thing, maybe even good, and something that isn’t bad might outlive itself.’ “