What an episode! Fights, failures, freakouts, forgetting lyrics and the Fab Four!
What an episode! Fussing and fighting, failures, freakouts, forgetting lyrics and the Fab Four!Looks like Wacko Jacko needed some cash, ‘cause this week the Idols get to pick songs from the Lennon/McCartney songbook. So Fox locked the would-be superstars in a hotel room with “Revolver” for about a week. And can we talk about the new set? It’s a lot like the old set only the band is elevated, the judges are isolated and there are more stairs for cheesy entrances. And there’s a mosh pit. Will there be stage diving later in the season? The vid clips aren’t worth talking about tonight. It’s basically a rehash of everything we already know: where they’re from and what they did pre-”Idol,” all for the benefit of those folks who don’t tune in until we get to the top 12 portion of the season. Syesha
Song: “Got to Get You Into My Life”
Erin: Randy says it was the Earth, Wind & Fire version, I say Tom Jones. Either way, it was extremely lackluster. The judges seemed to like it, but it was nothing to write home about.
Kathy: The band was great, especially the trumpet section. Syesha did well enough to cement her position in the middle of the pack. Chikezie
Song: “She’s A Woman”
Erin: Wow. Just wow. This perf did for Chikezie what “Hello” did for David Cook. The man stepped up his game. Starting with a bluegrass version of the song which became a rock tune, Chikezie proved his showmanship and blew away both the judges and the audience. Friend, you can wear an orange jumpsuit anytime you like now. You have my permission. This was my favorite performance of the night.
Kathy: I enjoyed the Cajun take on it at the beginning quite a lot. Then it morphed into rock and became a little too frenetic and all over the place for me. Plus he gave Ryan an excuse to touch a sweaty man and get all out of breath and that disturbed me. I put Chikezie in the middle of the pack too. Ramiele Malubay
Song: “In My Life”
Erin: I had good money on David Archuleta singing this song. And it’s a shame he didn’t, because Ramiele’s version totally blew. There are roofies on the market that are less effective than her performance. I did enjoy the “Idol” fanwave in audience and the knowledge that her family hangs out at the Farmer’s Market t-shirt booth. But other than that, I thought this was snoozeville. And the judges agree.
Kathy: I flew in from Vegas very late last night after a long flight delay and made a valiant effort to stay awake long enough to recap. Ramiele was no help at all. God this was boring. It was so bad that Erin thought she sang “Yesterday.” And Paula said she “looked pretty” so you can almost count on her going home tonight.
Erin: Wait, it wasn’t “Yesterday”? Good job, Ramiele. You have the ability to make all songs sound the same: monotonous. At this point, Ryan and Simon have whipped up enough animosity for each other that it’s straddling the line between disgust and sexual tension. It’s just too “Moonlighting” for words. The minute they sleep with each other, the show will take a dive in the ratings. Jason Castro
Song: “If I Fell” (with guitar)
Erin: “If I Fell” fell flat. There are actually parts of the perf where I winced. When he leaves the show, he needs to team with Ramiele on an album of children’s songs.
But the perf here isn’t the important part. The important part is that Paula disagreed with Randy. Sure, she went on a babbling tangent about the heart and connections with the audience, but it was still pretty jarring.
Kathy: Wow, the lads from Liverpool wrote a lot of downer songs and I guess we get to hear them all. Jason has built up quite a lot of good will with me so I can forgive him one subpar performance. But he only gets a week.
Also, I’d like to know how the hell the kids are supposed to know what to do when Randy and Paula keep contradicting themselves and each other by alternately telling them to “make songs their own” and “not switch it up too much.” Carly Smithson
Song: “Come Together”
Erin: She’s living with Amanda now? This sounds like the best reality TV show ever. Fox, get some web cams in there! You are sitting on a goldmine.
As for her perf, it looks like living with Amanda really rubbed off on her. Carly rocks out to the Joe Cocker version of the Beatles tune and does it justice. I was very impressed. This was the over-the-top-but-in-a-good-way performance I was waiting to see from her.
Hey Kathy, what’s up with the husband shot? I thought he had a bunch of tats and piercings, but the guy they showed looked all clean cut and pristine?
Kathy: I think he invested in some of that cover-up that you put on your tattoo when you don’t want your parents to know you’ve been inked. Not that I know anything about that. Plus, long sleeves helped.
I liked Carly’s performance, but she still hasn’t topped her initial audition for me. At least she finally woke me from the coma that Ramiele and Jason put me into. And can I just ask, what do the words to this song mean?! “He got toe-jam football, he got monkey fingers.” Huh? David Cook
Song: “Eleanor Rigby”
Erin: I was kind of hoping one of the chicks would step up to the plate and perform the Aretha version of this song, but this will do. Another interesting judges note is that Simon acknowledges that this show is more often than not a popularity contest, not a talent show. Did you really have to explain that? I think Sanjaya pretty much established that about a year ago.
Kathy: David and the stylisist continue to find new ways to cover his receding hairline. Poor kid. But his performance rocked. And he must have tipped the lighting crew because he got a light show the others did not. He is quickly becoming a favorite of mine. Simon says he could win. But I think Simon is just covering his bases because he’s now said that to at least four of the kids. Back from the break and Ryan is whispering sweet nothings into an aghast Simon’s ear. What is going on?! Brooke White
Song: “Let It Be”
Erin: “Idol’s” own Carly Simon takes to the stage. People seemed to like it. I couldn’t care less. I don’t think she’s bad, but just don’t related to the “Gee Whiz” factor that Brooke seems to emanate. I did like the part where Randy and Simon called attention to Ryan’s foot fetish.
Kathy: This song was released in 1970. Oh God, I’m old. This was the perfect choice for Brooke and I loved everything about it. Plus she gave Paula a chance to use her new favorite word: “Niche.”
Erin, you and I are just going to have to agree to disagree about this girl. David Hernandez
Song: “I Saw Her Standing There”
Erin: After talking about his job “delivering pizzas” (I guess that’s what the kids are calling it these days), David “treats” the audience to an extra cheesy version of the Beatles early pop tune. At this point, I’m thinking David’s artistic ability rivals that of a tissue box covered in glittered macaroni. It’s time for the boy to go.
Kathy: He said he took a Beatles 101 class in college. Is that part of the ancient history curriculum? God, this was awful. Corny, messy, boring. You name it. Amanda
Song: “You Can’t Do That”
Erin: Dressed to impress (and by impress, I mean impress Mr. T), Amanda unleashed her wonderful fury. Love her. Sure, it wasn’t her strongest performance, but still pretty dang good. That’s my girl.
Kathy: Next week, Amanda bites the head off a bat. Hey, Erin, I think you owe me five bucks. You said she’d sing “Helter Skelter.” Erin, are we going to have to enlist a third recapper just to keep up with the Simon/Ryan interact
ions? It’s getting a little scary on the “Idol” stage. Eventually, they will end up in a five-minute streetfight along the lines of the Roddy Piper sunglass fight scene in “They Live,” or Peter vs. Giant Chicken in “Family Guy.” Michael
Song: “Across the Universe”
Erin: Consider me swooned. I thought it was lovely. And so did Paula, who once again rocked the boat by taking an opinion other than Randy’s. I have no idea what is going on with Paula tonight, but I think I like it.
Kathy: I thought it was heartfelt and sweet and he’s safe for weeks to come. Hopefully the stylists will use some powder on him next week so he doesn’t look so shiny. Randy tells him he should have “switched it up.” Dude, make up your mind already. Kristy Lee Cook
Song: “Eight Days a Week”
Erin: “I didn’t know that the Beatles released a polka song,” my aunt Jenny said.
Quite possibly the worst “Idol” performance in the history of the show. This Bear Country Jamboree version of the Beatles tune was just wrong. I was horrified. The audience was horrified. Even Paula was horrified. I mean, she didn’t even cushion the blow of bad news with a compliment on her looks. Consider this a sign of the apocalypse. If you look closely at the audience, you can see at least two of the Four Horsemen looking appalled during Kristy’s country-friend rendition of the classic tune.
The pony you sold is deeply ashamed of you.
Kathy: For this they sent Asia’h home? I don’t even have the words to describe how bad this was so I’ll let Simon do it for me: Horrendous. David Archuletta
Song: “We Will Work It Out”
Erin: Even more evidence that the world is doomed. With Ramiele and Brooke biting on his style, “Idol’s” golden boy forgot the lyrics and mumbled his way through the chorus. The front-runner has fallen on bad times.
Kathy: Oh my, that was terrible. I told Erin last week that if he sang “Yesterday” I would slit my wrists, but I’m now thinking that would have been a fine choice for the boy. Best
Erin: Chikezie, Carly, Paula
Kathy: Brooke, David C., Carly by default Worst
Erin: So many to choose from. David A., Ramiele, Kristy, David H.
Kathy: Kristy in a class all her own, then Ramiele, David H., David A. Probably going home
American Idol: All together now
Taped in Los Angeles by 19 Prods. Executive producers, Nigel Lythgoe, Ken Warwick, Cecile Frot-Coutaz, Simon Fuller; director, Bruce Gowers.
Related links: Season Pass
Follow @Variety on Twitter for breaking news, reviews and more