The rags-to-near-riches saga of “Goal!” has turned into a risible riches-are-awful tale in “Goal II: Living the Dream,” which is sure to land in the cellar of the sequels league. Hero and ace soccer player Santiago (Kuno Becker, reprising) learns that fame and fortune aren’t everything — indeed, they bring nothing but trouble. Fans will laugh at the myriad technical errors as pic covers a typical Champions League season, though superstars from Beckham to Rodinho are wisely kept silent. A certain zed on theatrical pitch can be expected to precede a few goals in vid.
Santiago, a top Newcastle player supported by manager Glen (Stephen Dillane), is traded to Real Madrid and its dazzling cadre of superstar talent. Adjusting to Europe’s Yankees is tough enough without stresses from long-distance nurse fiancee Roz (Anna Friel), seductive come-hithers from sexy TV host Jordana (Leonor Varela) and annoying appeals from poor little Enrique (Jorge Garcia Jurado), who claims Santiago is his brother. Teammate Gavin (Alessandro Nivola) introduces Santiago to the good life, but in a series of ridiculous plot developments, things get a lot worse before they get better.