SELLER: Tommy Hilfiger
LOCATION: 768 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY
PRICE: $50,000,000 ($11,340/month taxes and maintenance)
SIZE: 6,000 square feet (approx.), 4 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: …The eight room duplex on the 18th and 19th floors has incredible views and light. It is delivered unfinished and can be finished to the buyer’s specifications…It contains the “Dome” which is one of the most recognizable architectural features of the iconic Plaza as well as other interesting architectural details. All this and a private terrace overlooking Central Park.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: This morning Your Mama discussed the $60,000,000 PickFair listing in Beverly Hills, so let’s stick with the big money theme and mosey on over to Manhattan this afternoon and have a little look-see at the unfinished corner penthouse unit at The Plaza being flipped by retail fashion tycoon Tommy Hilfiger for a blistering $50,000,000.
All the children surely already know that the legendary Plaza Hotel–an establishment where Your Mama’s luxe–luvin‘ mama used to enjoy lunching when she visited the Big Apple–has been converted into an uber high end condominium development where that chain smoking strip of leather that is Donatella Versace designed the model units which enticed boo-coo bucks buyers to drop butt loads of money on high priced pee-ed-a-tears with massive monthly fees and access to dee–luxe 5-star hotel services including (but not limited to) maid and concierge service, valet parking, limousine service, nanny and pet care services, and fresh flower delivery.
Some of the deep pocketed buyers who will be swaddled and coddled in ornate moldings, walnut bordered herringbone par-kay floors, Calacatta marble and intricate mosaic tile accents include tanlicious lesbian money guru Suze Orman, boxing glove baron Jerry Kokes, a whole bunch of finance industry figures Your Mama has never heard of as well as a number of Latin American magnates whose names ring no bells of familiarity in our booze addled brain. Natch, a good number of really rich Russians have also parked rafts of rubles at The Plaza including a little known Russian hedge hog named Andrei Vavilov who reportedly went to contract to purchase a $53,500,000 triplex penthouse but changed his damn mind and is now spitting, foot stomping and suing mad because he wants his ten-plus million dollar deposit back.
But, as usual, we digress. Records indicate that Mister Wildly Rich Hilfiger the House Flipper only closed on his two-unit doo–plex in July of 2008 for what appears to be $25,048,673, a figure our bejeweled abacus tells us means the toothy 50-something year old apparel baron hopes to earn himself a twenty-plus million dollar profit for flipping the unfinished penthouse after just two months of actual ownership. Now that children, takes some seriously steely real estate testiculas, don’t it?
Although it appears that Mister Hilfiger went ahead and combined his two units via a curving staircase and that he also went through the bother of erecting what Braden Keil at the New York Post so succinctly called “essential walls,” the doo–plex is being offered as ree–donkulously expensive raw space since neither Mister Hilfiger nor his team of nice gay decorators went so far as to finish the approximately 6,000 square foot space with acres of baby booty soft cashmere applied to the walls or to install aged persimmon dyed goat skin on the powder room floor.
So what does fifty million smackers buy at The Plaza if not rare and unexpected finishes such as limestone quarried at an exorbitant cost and mortal danger from the bottom of the Amnokgang River? As far as Your Mama can tell it buys a small corner of the 18th floor that includes a nearly 500 square foot living room that faces Fifth Avenue but does not feature a fireplace and a claustrophobically windowless dining room that leads to a small and sexy circular room beneath the famous dome. On the park side of the 18th floor, we find a decent sized but wee-windowed room where a gore-may kitchen with all the a-coo-tra-mah will (hopefully) be installed, a library with a stellar view of Central Park and another windowless room marked as a home office on the floor plan.
Upstairs, on the 19th floor, three family bedrooms are planned, two with private poopers and a third with a terlit located down the hall. The children will note that all the bathrooms are windowless creating a potentially disgusting olfactory sitch-u-ay-shun if artificial ventilation is not powerfully top notch. A small, windowless and seemingly useless sitting room acts as a too-wide hallway leading to the laundry room. We imagine this is where the domestic staff were meant to keep their purses and eat their meager meals. The reasonably sized but nearly windowless master bedroom includes two walk in closets/dressing rooms, a windowless bathroom and a small terrace located behind the dome that hangs over Central Park. If anyone were to ask Your Mama, and of course no one will, we’d try to figure a way to move that long narrow dressing room to the south wall of the master suite in order to give the bedroom an actual view of the park and better access to the terrace without having to pad down an otherwise useless L-shaped hallway.
Listen children, we understand (and hope) that a new owner may choose to tweak and re-work the layout, but for fifty million clams, Your Mama wants to be able to entertain guests on the modestly sized terrace without having to drag them through the master bedroom where they might succumb to an uncontrollable urge to peep into our night stands when we’re not watching them like a mommy hawk watching babies in her nest.
This is not the first time that the real estate fickle Mister Hilfiger has flipped a high priced property very quickly after purchasing. After renting it for a truck load of cash to Moneybags Mariah Cary in August of 2007, Mister Hilfiger made bank when recently sold an ocean front house in East Hampton with a Bali inspired day-core that he’d bought a just year earlier. The high end house flipper also recently put his just completed (approx.) 20,000 square foot mansion in the super swank Greenwich, CT back country on the market with an asking price of $24,900,000 (significantly reduced from its original asking price of $27,900,000).
It remains to be seen whether Mister Hilfiger will get anywhere near fifty million bucks for his unfinished doo–plex, but like the PickFair listing, the price guarantees a plethora of publicity and heaps breathless coverage by all the real estate gossips. But if we had to bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly on the outcome, we’d say that given Mister Hilfiger’s history making money flipping mansions, he will come out with many millions more than the hundreds of millions rich man already has.