SELLER: Nic Cage
LOCATION: Prytania Street, New Orleans, LA
SIZE: 13,176 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 5 full and 2 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: The most superlative of Garden District mansions with the best of every amenity. Ample room for a large family and big-time entertainment venue with formal gardens, parking, and everything anyone could possibly want in a most grand of grand, star-quality home.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Okay children, Your Mama needs to interrupt this weekend of raucous and typically lurid behavior by our visiting compatriot Fiona Trambeau, who is currently holed up in our guest room with an outrageously manly blatino she picked up in Silver Lake last night, to discuss the dozens of recent reports and onslaught of covert communications we’ve received the last couple of days about hair challenged actor and prolific trophy house collector Nic Cage selling off the infamously blood soaked LaLaurie House in New Orleans.
At least one local New Orleans news outlet has recently reported that Mister Cage has listed the Royal Street fright house for $3,900,000. However, our meager early morning research did not turn up any listing for the LaLaurie house which happens to be located just around the corner from the almost as famous Jolie-Pitt house on Governor Nicholls Street. We did, however, turn up listing information for a property on pretty Prytania Street in the Garden District that records indicate is owned by the Oscar winning actor and listing information reveals has been hoisted on to the market with an asking price of $3,700,000.
Property records for the behemoth Big Easy beauty show that a trust controlled by Mister Cage purchased the historic 13,176 square foot mansion in June of 2005 for $3,450,000. Although Mister Cage purchased the house from an antiques dealer, it is our understanding that the previous owner was homoerotic vampire novelist turned Christian memoirist Anne Rice. Listing information shows the house includes six bedrooms and seven terlits divvied up into 5 full and 2 half bathrooms.
Listing information also shows the three story house claims a living room that measures in at a staggering 77′ x 44′ and a super sized dining room that stretches forty-four feet long. The meticulously maintained grounds include formal gardens, oodles of covered balconies with intricate iron work balustrades, large brick terraces and a heated swimming pool.
Mister Cage, a man who owns more properties than Your Mama cares to count, has lately been lightening his fat real estate portfolio. Not only did he recently sell off his big-ass bay front mansion in Newport Beach, CA for a reported $35,000,000, he has also recently listed a huge house in Las Vegas (with an asking price of $9,500,000), the gorgeously rambling Gray Craig estate in Rhode Island (listed at $15,900,000), and his legendary Bel Air residence on Copa de Oro road which currently carries and asking price of $29,999,000.
One has to wonder (and privately snicker and speculate) why Mister Cage would chose to list so many high priced properties at a time when real estate prices are headed down the proverbial terlit. Should we soon expect his 500-year old Bavarian Schloss to hit the market? Or what about the private Bahamian island he’s rumored and reported to own? Or the castle outside of Bath, England? So what gives Mister Cage? Why sell now? With 12 film project in post production, filming or scheduled to be filmed, it can’t be that he needs the dough, right?