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Leonardo DiCaprio is Flipping Out in Malee-boo

SELLER: Leonardo DeCaprio
LOCATION: Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, CA
PRICE: $7,999,000 (reduced from $8,999,000)
SIZE: 2,374 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Distinctive contemporary on the bluffs above the ocean complete with new stairway to the cove below. The interior is a collection of elegant open spaces looking out to the beautiful gardens and your hot tub tucked away on the ocean front. A separate guest house containing to 1-bedroom suites. A four car garage and long winding driveway complete this beautiful estate.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: In January of 2007 Oscar nominated actor Leonardo DiCaprio, who is soon to be reunited with his Titanic co-star Kate Winslet in the big screen adaptation of Richard Yates’ stunning novel Revolutionary Road, very quietly scooped up an ocean front house riding high on the Encinal Bluffs in Malee-boo for what property records reveal was $6,350,000.

As far as Your Mama can piece together, this was Mister DiCaprio’s third residence along the pricey shores of Malee-boo. Records show he owns ocean front house on one of the larger lots in the celebrity packed, guard gated and super desirable Malibu Colony as well as one of the more modest ocean front houses on Carbon Beach. So, let’s be honest children, few rich and famous folks need three houses in Malee-boo so it makes sense that he would choose to sell one of them, right?

Anyhoo, thanks to the very generous and always on top of things AerialDave, we’ve learned that Mister DiCaprio is flipping the Encinal Bluffs property with an rather surprising asking price of $8,999,000. Your Mama’s bejeweled abacus tells us that asking price computes to a staggering and perhaps optimistic price increase of $2,649,000 in less than two years.

Yes, the listing for the 2,374 square foot house does state that Mister DiCaprio installed a very long, death defying, lung busting and butt battering staircase down the treacherous and extremely high bluff to the private cove That is a wonderful improvement to the property and everything, but good lawhd children, only the most fit and intrepid beach goer who has a note from their cardiologist should be climbing up and down that insanely long flight of stairs. We could probably struggle down, but Your Mama surely knows we’d pass right out before getting back to the top.

In addition to the 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms in the crisply contemporary main house, the DiCaprio crib includes a detached four car garage with two 1-bedroom guest units above. Ain’t nothing better in Your Mama and the Dr. Cooters book of residential real estate pluses and minuses than having not just one, but TWO guest units that ensure we are not subjected to the awful thump of late night fornicating coming from the guest room. And make no mistake puppies, your guests are gettin’ bizzy on those 600 thread count Frette linens your maid stretches across the guest bed.

One of those uglee plug-in spas has been plopped onto the rear deck which probably makes for a spine tingling spot to sit and slug down a gin and tonic at sunset. But really children, a man this rich who has free and easy access to all sorts smart architects and nice gay decorators should have demanded something more from his people than just dragging the damn thing off the truck and settin’ it down willy-nilly on the deck.

While we do not recommend it, a person could not swing a feral cat in the Encinal Bluffs area of Malee-boo without knocking over a celebrity. Not only does the freakishly tall and Emmy winning Brad Garrett own the house next door, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s modern extravaganza is just a short walk down the beach, that is if you can make it down all them damn stairs.

It’s no secret that Mister DiCaprio also owns two adjacent houses on Oriole Way in the Bird Street section of the hoity toity Hollywood Hills, one of which he purchased for $2,000,000 from aging pop queen Madonna although it’s now been renovated to beyond recognition of the house where Madge shacked owned the place. He probably has all sorts of other properties but, quite frankly, we’ve typed our fingers to the nubbins this morning and we’re too damn tired to look.

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