Audrina Patridge Heads for the Hills

BUYER: Audrina Patridge
LOCATION: Bryn Mawr Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,290,000
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: …This new construction Spanish Villa has a spectacular view over looking the city! It has 3 bedrooms & two and a half baths, & a huge gourmet chef’s kitchen. The kitchen features a separate convection oven, 6 burner gas stove, built-in microwave, wine refrigerator and side by side refrigerator, & a center island. The entertainer’s patio is like a resort w/ built in BBQ, refrigerator…

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Back in late August Your Mama floated a (not very) blind item about a best friend battling gossip glossy favorite spending some of her not very hard earned reality show money on a new house in the hills above Hollywood. As many of y’all guessed correctly, the new home owner is none other than Audrina Patridge, dark haired gurl from The Hills, not the blond one who wants to be a fashion dee-ziner, but the one who aspires to be a mo-dell and ackturuss. Yes, well, good luck with that baby gurl

Anyhoo, we know that many of you don’t care nuthin‘ about those cat fighting kitties from The Hills and if we’re telling the truth–and we always do–Your Mama does not either. In fact we’ve never even bothered to watch the damn program. However, the cast members’ comings and goings have become inescapable for all us gossip glossy junkies who are forced to read about Heidi and Lauren and Audrina in between stories about real stars like Brad Pitt, Halle Berry and British singing sensation Robbie Williams…who Your Mama also hears is buying a new house. But more on that later.

It’s certainly no secret that Miss Patridge bought a new house. Oh no. As is typical with the publicity seeking lasses from The Hills, she’s been yakking it up with all the paps and gossip glossies about how she felt like a guest living in the, uhm, guest house of Lauren’s house in West Hollywood and how she needed more space for her clothes and accessories. Isn’t that nice how her pee-pole have trained her to be so diplomatic? Most reports say that former BFFs Audrina and Lauren can’t stand the sight of each other, but for all Your Mama knows, the whole hate each other thing could be made up for their stoopid show. Who knows? Who cares?

According to our source Lucy Spillerguts and confirmed with property records, Miss Patridge paid $1,290,000 for her newly constructed “Spanish Villa” on Bryn Mawr Drive that includes 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms, a gore-may kitchen with a window shoved up into the ceiling and more tile floors than in all of Spain itself.

What is most interesting to Your Mama about Miss Patridge’s purchase is that as far as we can tell (from the listing information we saved all those weeks ago), the house was last listed at $1,199,000 which means that according to our beloved and bejeweled abacus the reality show personality paid more than the asking price for her new house with it’s built-in microwave oven and resort like entertainer’s patio. More! That, children, just isn’t happening that much anymore.

There’s really no point in discussing the rather bland and beige day-core seen in the photographs because that is clearly the work of Staging Lady in a Pink Toyota. And not some of her best work either. Your Mama hopes Miss Partridge has the good sense to hire one of her nice gay decorator friends to get up in there and work it out. The first thing Your Mama would suggest is to go out and buy some damn rugs to cover up some of that beige tile that has been laid down, seemingly, throughout the entire house. Who does that? Why? The builder couldn’t have mixed it up with some nice dark floors in the living and dining rooms? Pleeze.

At least the place has some pretty nice views over looking the glittery lights of Los Angeles.

Property records also reveal that Miss Patridge’s new next door neighbor is How I Met Your Mother actor Josh Radnor who paid 1.1 million clams for his house in June of 2007 for his 1926 Spanish style house with 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms.

Now then, let’s move on and hope none of these other folks from The Hills bother to buy a house because Your Mama ain’t got nuthin‘ left to say about them.

P.S. We stand corrected…this gurl’s name is indeed Patridge rather that Partridge which is what Your Mama thought it was…shows you how much we know. Anyhoo…we’ve fixed it. The least we can do is spell the pee-pole’s names correctly, right?

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