SELLER: Arthur and Stephanie Blank
LOCATION: Tuxedo Road, Atlanta, GA
SIZE: 8,225 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 7 full and 3 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Spectacular mature gardens and lake are viewed from the iron balconies of this magnificent 4 acre estate. Situated on one of Atlanta’s finest streets, across from the Woodruff estate, the grounds of this wonderful seven bedroom home are unparalleled in Buckhead.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: About a week ago Your Mama received word from the Buckhead Blabbermouth that Atlanta Falcons owner, Home Depot co-founder and billionaire Arthur Blank recently put his baronial Buckhead mansion on the market for $10,900,000. Being blissfully and almost totally ignorant about professional sports, the only tidbit Your Mama can pull out of the dark recesses of our gin soaked mind about the Atlanta Falcons is that it’s the team for which disturbing dog torturer Michael Vick last quarterbacked. However, let’s not uglee this story up with discussing that pile of sick whom Your Mama hopes is some demonic dude’s new “wife” in whatever prison he’s landed.
Knowing little about Atlanta other than it’s sometimes called “Hotlanta” and that land luvin‘ billionaire Ted Turner and He of the Fabulous Sunglasses Elton John maintain residences in the southern city, we once again turned to our saucy and sassy friend Fiona Trambeau who happens to know a thing or two about Buckhead thanks to a sexually confused, Guinness guzzling and pill popping former consort who shall remain nameless. For now.
Miz Trambeau informs Your Mama that Buckhead is one of Atlanta’s finer neighborhoods and its winding and leafy streets are lined with mansions both modest and excessive, stately and over-stated. According to Miz Trambeau, there also happens to be a thriving nightlife in Buckhead that is peopled by khaki clad bizness men who look like they might have belonged to a fraternity in college and young women in strappy high heels, expensive mini dresses and even more expensive handbags. As you might imagine, Miz Trambeau finds it all a little mainstream for her notoriously wild and wicked ways.
Anyhoo, property records reveal that Mister and Missus Blank purchased their 8,225 square foot brick Colonial Revival style mansion on Buckhead’s Tuxedo Road in April 1993 for $3,380,000. Listing information indicates the house includes 7 bedrooms with 7 full and 3 half bathrooms. It’s a good thing listing information also indicates that the Blank pile also includes staff quarters, because with ten terlits you definitely need a live in gurl with a scrub brush super glued to one of her hands.
Listing information and and a recent report in the Atlanta Journal Constitution reveal that the interior spaces include a two story foyer for impressing guests and the pizza delivery man, a dining room that seats 12, a library, media room/home thee-ay–ter, and in-law suite (which is a fantastic feature for those with frustrating in-laws), a wine grotto for perfect for well to do winos to tipple and taste, and an in-home fitness center in which the hung over home owners can privately sweat out the booze the next morning .
However, it’s really the outdoor spaces that make this property a real head turner. Four acres of magnificent, meticulous and mature landscaping include a private lake (that looks a wee bit small to be a lake, so let’s call it a pond), multiples terraces, patios and decks, a swimming pool, sculpted lawn areas, gazebos, pergolas, quiet contemplative corners and secret sweet spots where one could easily and freely frolic in their birthday suit without any fear of being spied by neighbors or hovering helicopters.
As the children might expect and any high end property shopper would hope, Mister and Missus Blank’s Buckhead estate sits in solid real estate company. Across the street is Windcrofte, the Regency style behemoth that was once the home of Robert Woodruff, a man who had Coca Cola cash coming out his philanthropic wazoo. Currently owned by big biznessman and wannabe Republican politician Guy Millner, the 7-acre property is also on the market for $13,900,000.
According the Atlanta Journal Constitution, the billionaire Blanks will be staying in the hotsy totsy ‘hood and plan to move to another Buckhead property that is currently under renovation. Your Mama hopes their new digs will include landscaping as lovely and impressive as their old house and we look forward to being invited to a garden party this summer to check it all out.