Ah, the tyranny of technology. Why is it that scientists have figured out how to transmit DNA code on a microchip but can’t invent a dribble-free disposable coffee cup? And can someone please explain why it took the cosmetics industry so long to invent a lip gloss that comes with a damn mirror?
Finally, women have reason to smirk and whisper “Bond, Jane Bond” when they open their makeup bags. Stila’s new Smoky Eye Palette ($38; Sephora.com) actually provides a talking tutorial on how to apply the tricky look with the push of a button. In under a minute, a frightfully perky voice (I would have preferred the guttural slur of Lauren Bacall) chirps about which colors to apply to which areas of the eye and even which brushes are recommended. Does it work? Yes. But keep in mind that the smoky eye fairy talks too fast and you will have to push the button about three times to get the steps down. I pushed it 10 times in a row rather violently—in the same manner that I used to dial a jerky old boyfriend—and the perky professor didn’t flinch, so it’s safe to push repeatedly.
On to YSL’s newest Lip Twins Duo line ($30; Bergdorfgoodman.com). This array of iridescent sheer glosses also includes a lipstick for a more matte finish and a side panel mirror. How ingenious! Even more useful is the Modelco Lip Lights Line ($25; Sephora.com) that comes with a mirror and built-in light that activates as soon as you remove the cap. Scoff, if you must, but I do believe that applying lip gloss on a dance floor or in a power outage makes perfect sense. Plus, it doubles as a penlight if you can’t find your keys on a moonless night.