A “Dynasty” dream catfight come to lurid life, Joan Collins and Linda Evans face off in the mediocre “Legends!” Although the script has a modicum of witty lines, it’s neither frothy nor ferocious enough to be memorable, and director John Bowab further burdens the proceedings with turgid pacing. Production is mildly entertaining — the cast is superior to the material — but it’s strictly for die-hard fans of the cast.
Shifty Off Broadway producer Martin Klemmer (Joe Farrell) is looking to cast a few stars in his production of “Star Wars –The Play,” and to that end he sets up a meeting between himself and two faded movie stars, Sylvia Glenn (Collins) and Leatrice Monsee (Evans). The two women loathe each other, but both are looking to the play to revivify their stagnant careers; they attempt to put up with each other while waiting for Klemmer to arrive. As the two women examine their lives, they find they have more in common than they’d imagined, from stolen husbands to loneliness.
Collins has fun with her role, from her plummy delivery of the tale of the “dirt nap” a dear friend has just taken to a near constant mockery of everyone around her. Her sharp delivery and comic energy serve as a defibrillator to a play that’s in constant danger of flat lining. Evans has a less intriguing character to play, but her low-key perf doesn’t transcend the writing.
Farrell brings a twitchy exuberance as Klemmer, making a tour de force of a hectic three-way phone conversation, and getting way too personal with Evans and Collins in a hilarious drug scene. Tonye Patano is broadly amusing as the “borrowed” servant Aretha, and Will Holman is memorably agile as an enthusiastic stripper.
Nolan Miller, who worked with Collins and Evans on “Dynasty,” provides appropriately sumptuous attire, and Jesse Poleshuck’s apartment set looks like a small outpost of Versailles.