SELLER: Terry Allen Kramer
RENTER: Howard Stern
LOCATION: Southampton, NY
SIZE: 3.6 acres, 8,500 square feet (approx.), 8 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: This beautiful, 2-story, shingle-style Traditional oceanfront home, situated on 3.6 south-of-the-highway acres with 350′ frontage on the ocean, boasts 9 bedrooms (4 staff bedrooms), 8 baths, formal dining room, 3 fireplaces, open living room, all appliances, air conditioning, 2-car garage, oceanside, heated gunite pool. This fabulously landscaped property is also on Wickapogue Pond.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: For all the children out there who may not know who Terry Allen Kramer is, let Your Mama educate you. Technically this lady is a successful Broadway producer with credits that include the recently closed Twyla Tharpe dance extravaganza Movin‘ Out and the latest production of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. But really, much of Ms. Allen Kramer’s stupendous wealth was inherited from her father’s vast wealth and is underpinned by her dead financier husband’s stockpile of cash.
The Allen Kramer’s built their Southampton beach hut more than 20 years ago and the couple and their family no doubt happily spent many a summer sunning themselves by the ocean side pool. None the less, the house was put up for sale in 2005 for the astronomical price of $35,000,000. Even though the gated property is exquisitely and privately located down a private lane off Old Town Road, finding a buyer has proved difficult.
At any rate, according to Braden Keil at the NY Post, the house is currently rented to Howard Stern for a whopping $600,000 for an extended season. As many of the children will recall from a recent post, Big Hair and his soon to be wifey Beth sold off their Amagansett ocean front recently and are building a new place on Squabble Lane in Southampton.
In his column, Mister Keil states it is unclear if Big Hair and wifey have been told of the sale and could be upset about the sale. See babies, the convenience of this rental is undeniable for Big Hair as the couple can casually stroll down the beach to check on the construction of the new ocean front palace being built which is just four properties East. Your Mama imagines the rental agreement will be honored and Big Hair and wifey will stay in residence through the summer. If not, and Big Hair and wifey are indeed booted, they’ll face a strong Hamptons rental market and may in fact have a difficult time locating a rental that suits them.
While Your Mama is not fond of the rather fussy decor we see in the photographs, this style is in fact fairly typical of the mammoth beach shacks of the super wealthy in the staid Southampton area. None the less, the property does include some interesting and notable features.
The heated, water side, above ground pool has been cleverly designed to appear as an in ground pool. There also happens to be enough decking around the pool for Your Mama to roller skate our hips off in a tight fitting, flower printed, uber-wasp Lily Pulitzer bikini.
Up on the third floor, on the ocean side of the house, a small terrace has been tucked up into the eaves. We think this was a sublime and clever use of space and Your Mama sees us sprawled out on the chaise, reading the latest Danielle Steel piece of trash and ringing the bell for the kitchen help to run up a box of Popsicles.
Some people will find the location of this house, situated on a spit of land between the angry Atlantic and calm Wickapogue Pond, as highly desirable. But not Your Mama. No siree bob. If we owned this property we would be obsessively worried about would happen in the event of a hurricane and would surely need to be on a regular dosage of Dr. Cooter prescribed Xanax.
Your Mama is not sure what Ms. Allen Kramer will be doing now that she’s sold the Southampton estate. Perhaps she’ll be spending more time at La Follia, her monsterous 44,000 square foot Palm Beach mansion.
Your Mama will also keep you posted if we receive any additional information about if and where Big Hair and wifey will be moving once the sale of this property goes through.