We Would Like to Aplogize to The Spice Gurl

RENTER: Victoria “The Spice GurlBeckham
LOCATION: Beverly Ranch Road, Beverly Hills, CA
SIZE: 7,000 square feet (approx.), 6 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Incredible environment of approximately 7,000 sq. ft. that will resonate w/ anyone who appreciates great architecture. Situated on its own promontory of approximately 10 acres with incredible views. Soaring walls of glass, pool w/ double infinity edges that looks like it is hanging in space, must see to believe! Tremendous space to display art & extraordinary for entertaining. All the features you expect from a home of this caliber: large screening room, wine room, dual master suites, etc.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Children, we come to you this morning humbled. Last night, along with the Dr. Cooter, we watched The Spice Gurl’s new reality show on the NBC called Victoria Beckham: Coming To America, and we’ve had a change of mind.

We’ll be honest and say that Your Mama fully expected to dislike this skinny, unsmiling, and publicity hungry ex-pop star who drove us crazy looking at every damn mansion for sale in Beverly Hills and Bel Air. But we didn’t. No hunnies, we didn’t. We must confess, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter actually liked this skinny, unsmiling, and publicity hungry ex-pop star who came off as a funny, charming, self effacing, and somewhat ditzy gal who is toe-ta-lee and completely aware of how she is perceived by the world.

She totters around in absurdly high heels and can barely walk in her too tight pencil skirts. She makes dead pan, shallow, and yet somehow funny comments about how she’d rather die than be caught in a pair of ballet flats. She even goes so far as to wear stripper worthy patent leather spikes while sun bathing by the pool. And she clearly lives in a bubble and vacuum that is unique to the very rich and very famous. She’s screwy, but she is no monster.

You can all skewer and lambaste Your Mama for saying so, and y’all prolly will, but we think the skinny bitch from Britain has done herself some serious good to her public image in the US with this television program. And VB gurl, the Dr. Cooter and Your Mama would have you, your ridiculously high heels, and your cartoon-like and bulging breasts to dinner any night of the week. Brava gurl!

But we’re not really here to discuss our surprising and new found affection for The Spice Gurl. Rather we’re here to discuss the real estate. And while watching The Spice Gurl’s show last night, we realized that the house she rented for the filming of her show is currently on the market for sale at $8,995,000, which includes a large adjacent parcel. Without the adjacent parcel the price is $6,995,000. (Thanks reader!)

Located on the valley side of Mulholland Drive and occupying a ten acre parcel at the tip of a hair pin curve, the house is one of the many, many properties it was reported The Spice Gurl looked at in her exhaustive search for a Los Angeles home for her and her relocating family. Turns out, she only wanted to lease the place to film her show, because of course, even the children of Malawi and Mongolia know the couple purchased a $22,000,000 home on San Ysidro Drive in Beverly Hills.

The rental house, with 6 bedrooms and 6.5 bathrooms, offered plenty of room for her and her staff to roam about and store her considerable collection of tiny little clothes. However, we’re not sure or convinced that The Spice Gurl actually LIVED in this house or simply used it for filming her show. It was our understanding that she and the entourage were staying in a swank Beverly Hills hotel. Anyone?

The big modern house has huge walls of glass and a spectacular view, if you don’t mind looking at the San Fernando Valley. Your Mama is not going to spend much time picking apart the furniture and art choices, because they do not belong to The Spice Gurl. And for the most part, we’re not offended by the furniture. The obscenely bad art is another matter. What in the world is that four headed nightmare above the bed. Who could sleep with four demonic and decapitated faces staring down at you like that? Seriously, who?

Before we go, we’d like to add one program note on the television program…Did anyone else jump up and down with delight during that scene where The Spice Gurl was invited to freaky looking Herbalife widow/tycoon Suzan Hughes‘ crazy mansion for a luncheon? That was some priceless television. PRICELESS. Not only were every single one of these women of indeterminate age due to the vast amounts of plastic surgery and caked on make up that made them look like drag queens, they were nut jobs. Particularly after they had a few mid-day drinks in them. Did anyone else pass out laughing when the old lady in the powder blue suit made that freaky noise with her mouth? It’s moments like that that make TiVo worth every penny.

Anyhoo, Your Mama would like to publicly apologize to The Spice Gurl for all our bad thoughts and words. Because hunny, we think you’re major.

Sources: Crap Filter, NBC,

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