UPDATE: Michael “The White Lady” Jackson

Get ready kids, because here we go, following the tragedy that is Michael Jackson all up and down the East Coast while he looks for a place to live.

According to a July 4th article on Forbes.com (via Perez Hilton), the Jackson family has come to the East Coast looking for a vacation home in Maryland. Maryland? Whaaaaat?

According to The White Lady’s spokesperson, a Miz Raymone Bain, Jackson is drawn to the East Coast because, “He’s always admired the properties on the East Coast because they have a lot of land. Neverland has 3,000 acres – he likes privacy. You can’t find as many properties like that on the West Coast.”

In the same article on Forbes, Miz Bain, who probably gets paid in sequins and epaulets, states that The White Lady is the “head of a vast corporation.” Hmm. Does anyone besides Your Mama think it’s a little odd that the head of a vast corporation RENTS rather than buys?

But you know what hunnies? Michael Jackson has done cooked his goose, so it’s not his disturbed ass that concerns Your Mama, but those three lily white blond children of his. When they get a little older they should call up Kelsey Grammer‘s kids and form a support group for children with rich, famous, and peripatetic parents.

Ya’ll should trust Your Mama when we say that this Michael Jackson story can only end in tears.

Sources: Forbes, Perez Hilton

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  1. Anonymous says:

    Dick Cheney has a house on the Eastern Shore and thus, there’s a very strict no flyover zone in that area (around Salisbury). There are several other celebs who have bought/are looking there for the same reason – no paparazzi zooming around in helicopters.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Mama, I think it makes sense that the White Lady rents. You just never know when you may have to get out of town.

  3. RLT says:

    Latest story is that he’s moving into the Brunei Prince’s 60 million dollar home her in Vegas.


  4. Anonymous says:

    I don’t know how to imbed links, so if you go here http://daily.stanford.edu/, scroll down to the Intermission section, then click on Celebrity Buzz:Paris Hilton finds God!!!, it’s in the 5th paragraph.

  5. Anonymous says:

    You may just be right mama. From today’s Stanford University online paper The Stanford Daily:

    “Michael Jackson’s friends and family are planning an intervention in hopes that it may save the pop singer’s life. Apparently, he has been using the boring downtime between felony charges to self-medicate on booze and anti-depressants. Insiders said they knew he was plummeting to rock bottom when he was witnessed vomiting blood.”

  6. Phoenix says:

    “..this Michael Jackson story can only end in tears.”

    I couldn’t agree more. I wrote off the last shred of sympathy I had for him when less than a month after his acquittal he was caught in the ladies bathroom of a Dubai mall wearing the traditional Arabic woman’s head scarf and robe.

    How can a guy who just had a miracle acquittal handed to him on a silver platter turn around and act that way, with his kids in tow no less.

    That, and the fact that everyone who performs a service for him has to file a lawsuit to get paid, sickens me beyond my ability to express in words.

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