UPDATE: Howard “Big Hair” Stern

We thought we had grown tired and bored of reading and writing about Big Hair and his soon to be wifey Beth and their never ending shuffle through high end Hamptons real estate. Until we read Braden Keil’s update on the huge house Big Hair and wifey are building in Southampton, and we were interested all over again.

First we discussed the shingled ocean front house in Amagansett the couple sold because fanatic fans were spending too much time on the dunes out back trying to catch glimpses of Big Hair in his speedo.

Then we discussed the humongous ocean front spread that Big Hair and Beth leased from freakishly wealthy Broadway producer Terry Allen Kramer after selling the Amagansett house. Remember, that was the place from which Big Hair and Beth got booted when Kramer sold the place out from under them earlier this year for a reported $34,000,000.

Next we discussed the ocean front Norman Jaffe designed monster manse on Meadow Lane in Southampton that the couple rented for an astounding $1,00,000/year so that they have a place to weekend while their Southampton house is under construction.

Lawhd chidren, we’re worn out from recounting Big Hair’s Hamptons real estate movements and we haven’t even gotten to the update.

This week, the NY Post’s Braden Keil brings us an update on the gargantuan beach shack the couple is building on Squabble Lane in Southampton. If you dig way back into the recesses of your mind, you’ll recall that in May of 2005 Stern purchased a vacant and private 4-acre ocean front parcel of land for the skin tingling and puke inducing price of $20,000,000. He quickly hired an architect to design an estate fit for a radio star.

The house has been under construction for some time now, and according to Keil, the plans filed with the town reveal just how palatial the place is going to be: Sixteen thousand square feet facing the Atlantic Ocean. 8 bedrooms. 12 bathrooms. Great room. Media room. 1,500 square foot master bedroom with private balcony, his and her baths and dressing rooms, and an office/study. Wine cellar with tasting room. Oceanside swimming pool with cabana and spa. Keil notes there is to be a stone wall surrounding the property to keep the fans away. And because no 16,000 square foot house at the beach would be complete without one a bowling alley. Which we think is stoopid.

With the dire domestic staff shortage in the Hamptons, Big Hair may have a difficult time finding enough staff to scrub a dozen terlits week after week. Poor thing.

It seems a little vulgar to Your Mama to have a 16,000 square foot weekend house at the beach with 12 terlits and a bowling alley, but what do we know? We can only hope there’s a library in the house filled with books to read as well.

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