YOUR MAMAS NOTES: This morning we’re going to jump on Ruth Ryan’s bandwagon and quickly discuss one of the properties featured in today’s Hot Properties column in the LA Times. Not because we don’t have a long list of unreported celebrity properties to discuss, but because one of The Apprentice gals, just sold her house in Studio City, which ties in nicely with our recent discussion of the upsetting and ugly house above Mulholland Drive where all the contestants lived.
You may remember Kristine Lefebvre as the bossy and be-speckled lady attorney with the whiny voice and the sorta turned up nose that was the 14th contestant eliminated on the most recent season of The Apprentice. What is the former model turned intellectual property attorney at a “high profile law firm” doing now you might ask? Well, she is taking off her clothes and posing for Playboy in skimpy lingerie. Bet that’s going over really well with the partners of her “high profile law firm.” What Hollywood big wig wouldn’t want to be represented by a smart and accomplished attorney who is willing to let millions of men see her naughty bits?
If you ask Your Mama, and no one did, this gurl does not want to be an attorney. We think she wants to be famous, and she’s hoping showing her boobies to the world will help her get a television show where she can wear glasses and revealing blouses and discuss the legal issues of the day a la Star Jones. Just check out her slick website and you’ll see that it’s not her big brains she’s selling.
Miz Kristine’s long-haired French huzband Ludovic Lefebvre (how DO you pronounce that name?) has chopped and diced himself silly as the head chef of high end food establishments such as L’Orangerie and Bastide in Los Angeles. According to Miz Ryan, Mister Ludovic is looking to open his own eatery. Good luck with that, because that is a difficult thing to do.
According to property records, the couple purchased this house in the hills of Studio City in April of 2004 for $1,155,000. The Laurel Canyon home is not far from where Tori Spelling nad her man Dean McDermott had a yard sale that attracted half of Los Angeles. Remember that?
Anyhoo, the French chef and the nekkid attorney appear to have a thing for African and Indonesian arts and crafts. Your Mama has been in museums that don’t have this much ethnic art in them. We’re not complaining, we’re just saying…Also, we notice that most of the paintings are hung too high. Please note children, that pictures and paintings should be hung so they can be comfortably looked at while sitting in the room without having to crane and strain one’s neck. Remember, this is a home, not a gallery where everything gets looked at standing up.
The 4 bedroom 3.5 bathroom house is fine. Nothing special and nothing to beef too much about. We like the front doors, the copious amounts of glass, and we like the dining room table quite a bit. We are always a little disturbed to see the home kitchens of professional cookers that are not kitted and fitted with all sorts of industrial machines and appliances. Nothing wrong with this kitchen, but Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter have a more chef friendly kitchen and the only cooking we do is pour kibble in bowls for our bitches Linda and Beverly.
The only other items we’d like to discuss are in the bathroom. We really like that painting of the Big Dipper. Or is it the Little Dipper? Whatever. We would like to have that. And we love the tiny powder blue tiles against the white floor and walls. And while we understand the glass sinks and the glass pedestals are meant look “modern,” this is not a sort of modern that appeals to Your Mama. Those things are going to look dated next week and the sound of shattering glass will become deafening as these types of glass fixtures are ripped out all across America. Who has the time to be dealing with all the water spots on those things? And if you’re living up in this relatively modest house, you prolly can not afford to have a gurl who does nothing but stay in the bathroom all day wiping the pesky water spots off the damn sinks.
No clue on where the French chef and the nekkid attorney are moving, and frankly, we’re not sure we care. Do you?