YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We’re gonna jump on something that was first reported by one of the supreme celebrity real estate gossips, Mister Max Abelson over at the New York Observer. The other day, among other juicy tidbits, Abelson told us about Stephen Cohen purchasing a big house on swanky Further Lane in East Hampton.
We know most of you don’t have a clue who Stephen Cohen is. But folks who live in and around New York certainly know who exactly who this billionaire hedge fund honcho is. See children, in New York, heavy hitters in the hedge fun world are like rock stars, and all the celebrity real estate gossips follow their money trails around to all the best urban co-ops and seaside retreats. And Mister Cohen has about $3 billion bucks, which put him at No. 85 on the Forbes 400 in 2006, so you know we’re all salivating to know what he’s buying and selling.
As Abelson mentioned, Mister Money Bags is an avid collector of contemporary artwork, and regularly drops large wads on big name artists. Cohen reportedly paid 8,000,000 big ones for Damien Hirst’s iconic piece called “The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living.” For those not inclined toward superstar contemporary artwork, this piece consists of a large shark carcass floating in a tank of formaldehyde. Well, wouldn’t you know the damn carcass got to rotting and shrinking, and y’all know rich man wanted that fixed. So he had to negotiate with the artist to replace the shark. Most reports say Hirst was more than happy to accommodate.
Oh dear, we digress as usual. We found the most interesting bizness in Abelson’s report the jaw dropping statement that Cohen purchased this $20 million house as an interim house until he finds something really good directly on the ocean. Money bags has so much money he can drop $20 million rather than rent someplace really nice for $300,000 for the summer. A-may-zing. We forget sometimes how sear-ee-us money behaves.
Abelson’s report stated the house Cohen purchased had 10 bedrooms. We counted nine including the all important maid’s room. Could be there’s more bedrooms in the basement. Could be that the actual layout has been modified from the floor plan we filched off the developer’s website.
Whatever the case, Cohen certainly needs a house with close to a dozen bedrooms. He has seven children and it just will not do for children of billionaires to be doubling up in the bedrooms of poppa’s summer house.
As we mentioned the floor plan shows a single and small maids room tucked into a corner off the kitchen. With at least 11 terlits to clean, we feel sorry for the maid who in addition to scrubbing poopers is likely required to polish the wood floors, and dust the de Koonings and the Pollack. Your Mama sincerely hopes Cohen will bring in outside help so that he does not overburden a single maid.
We know the builder of this house, Farrell Building Company, is an excellent builder, but we did not know that the company is funded by the Carlyle Group. That’s an interesting bit of information that sort of scares the bejeezus out of us…Don’t know who the Carlyle Group is? Google it. Its the private equity firm where former President Bush used to be employed.
The layout of the house is certainly gracious, and Abelson tells us the grounds have all the necessary Hampton’s features like a gunite pool with pavillion, Har–Tru tennis court. Even the basement is kitted out for the super rich with a wine cellar, media room and spa.
Given all the accoutrement on the property, it would seem Cohen and his small army of children will never need to walk the private pathway to the ocean.