YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Surely most of you read about the this outrageous property on one of our favorite sites RADAR or over at Big Time Listings. Your Mama had been holding out on posting anything until we had something new to add, but we can’t resist the photos that have been put up on the website created to help sell the house. And one tidbit of information provided us by a gentleman named Garreth is also worth relaying to the children. Here’s the reader’s digest on the house which was once owned by girly voiced boxer Mike Tyson who has been banged in the head so many times he doesn’t have enough sense to come in out of the rain.
The dimwitted boxer with the stoopid facial tattoos lost this house in his dee–vorce settlement when a judge decreed he must “sell” it to the ex-wife Monica for a single dollar. Ouch! Now think about that. What single lady living off spousal support from Mike Tyson wants or can afford a 52,000 square foot mansion with 19 bedrooms and nearly forty terlits? No single lady, that’s who.
So Monica puts the house up on the market and low and behold in September of 2003, gangsta rapper 50 Cent, flush with new money and something to prove, buys the place for $4,100,000. The rapper, who among other things is famous for being shot full of holes out in front of his grandmother’s house, claims to have spent between $3.5 and $6 million renovating the house.
But Your Mama wants to know where is all the money Fiddy claims he put into this house? Can’t be in the dining room with those depressing funeral home curtains and those ridiculous and upsetting white chairs with the bull dog legs.
Or in the 3,500 square foot home disco which looks like the night club at the Holiday Inn in Minot, North Dakota. And Your Mama knows what that looks like too because we’ve been there. And where’s the stripper pole? Y’all know Fiddy put at least one greased pole up in there for the high class Connecticut ladies to swing on and wrap themselves around.
Okay, maybe the living room has some expensive and tasteful Biedermeir like furniture, but seriously, where’s all the money? We too read the story that RADAR referenced about Fiddy asking Louis Vuitton to paper the place with their logo. We thought that would be tacky until we saw this pictures of this place and realized that would actually be tasteful compared to the choices Fiddy’s obviously not-gay decorator made.
In addition to the disco, movie theater, four kitchens, racquetball court, full gym, heli-pad, tennis courts, staff quarters and 5 jacuzzis, the house has what everyone needs, an indoor shooting range. Because if you’re going to own a gun, it’s best to be able to know how to use it, right?
The one room that makes any sense to us is the indoor swimming pool, which actually reminds Your Mama of a public pool our Mama used to take us up in Lake Tahoe. We understand that at one time this pool had Mike Tyson’s initials on the bottom and we wonder if Fiddy had them removed and replaced with a dollar sign or some other symbol of wealth.
The outdoor, infinity edged pool probably cost Fiddy and arm and a leg, but in our opinion the tile was the wrong choice. That tile can be seen in just about any Home Depot sale bin. The grotto we’re liking. It’s not as nice as the one at the Playboy Mansion, but it works as a place for Fiddy’s posse to cool off and entertain the ladies after they’ve slid themselves up and down the pole in the disco.
And our little friend Garreth tells us something we had not heard before…”Interestingly, for a bullet-proof-vest-sporting, bomb-proof-SUV-driving superstar, the house remains a little unsecured: a rival rapper (feuding with 50) posted videos of himself and others standing on 50’s property looking at his house after accessing the grounds through the acreage in the rear.”
We can only hope that Fiddy has secured the borders since then because Farmington does not need a shoot out between rival rapper gangs nor does he need bullet holes in the walls that might need to be fixed before someone buys this behemoth of a house.
Tyson’s ex Monica tried to sell this house for $25,000,000 before reducing the price and finally accepting 50 Cent’s $4.1 million dollar offer. So we’d be surprised if the house will go for anywhere near the $18.5 million Fiddy is asking. But good luck to him. He’s got a knack for making paper, so maybe, just maybe, he’ll make millions on the sale of this house.