More Michael Jackson Nonsense

Your Mama knew that Michael Jackson’s loyal spokesladee Raymone Bain would eventually make some sort of convoluted and glorious comment about the recent brouhaha regarding The White Lady’s finances and the impending foreclosure on “Neverland Ranch.” And she did! Oh lawhd children, Your Mama just cain’t get enough of that ca-razy talking Raymone Bain.

According to Miz Bain, The White Lady was never in default on the $23,000,000 loan that was taken in April of 2006 and reportedly secured by “Neverland Ranch.”

He’s just “refinancing.” Oh. Well. Right. Hmm.

According to our banking industry source in California, a “Notice of Default” is usually sent after three loan payments have been missed. If the borrower does not pay up within 30 days, a foreclosure notice is issued and the bank begins the long and arduous process required to take possession of the property.

Word to the wise Miz Bain, Your Mama suggests you get on the horn and ring up someone in the Santa Barbara County government right quick because Mister Jackson’s “Neverland Ranch” property appears on their Notice of Default report. We know that’s true, we’ve seen the report. While you’re at it, you better call the folks at Alliance Default Services in San Francisco, because they were under the impression that the loan was in default (to the tune of $212,000+) and possibly headed into foreclosure.

Listen Michael, hunny. Listen to Your Mama here. It is time to let go of your creepy carnival out in Los Olivos. Do yourself and your faltering finances a favor and sell that place off and get out from the considerable costs associated with maintaining such a vast property. Buy yerself a nice 7,000 square foot gated home in suburban Cleveland and try to raise those lily white children of yours with some sense of stability. Seriously, think about it.

Post A Comment 51

Leave a Reply


Comments are moderated. They may be edited for clarity and reprinting in whole or in part in Variety publications.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

  1. Anonymous says:

    Strapping Hunk here, I wasn’t with Janet J., I was at Mr. Chow with Michael J. He is trying out a new look. Going back to black to record a rap album and save neverland. He bought some balls from the Stein estate so he will be able to talk like a man. Watch for me tonight on Nancy Grace talking about my part in the OJ sting operation. Gotta run, the Macy’s balloon handlers are practicing by holding one of Aunt Mary’s bras aloft to dry in the wind. If that think gets loose it will take out 3 houses in Hancock Park. Strapping Hunk out.

  2. TMZ Chick says:

    Strapping Hunk was spotted at Mr. Chow last night with Janet J. What’s up? Could a new tour be in the works.

  3. Math?We’re not very interested in that.We want ZING!

  4. Big E says:

    I have to ask – where did you dummies learn math? Paying 250k for a 500k condo is HALF. The dollar is not HALF the Euro, it’s 50%, i.e. 1.50 dollars to the euro (yes, a minor difference there). So a European would be paying EUR$333k for a USD$500k place. And what makes you think the US is an attractive place to invest these days? Why would anyone invest in a declining asset?

  5. average joe says:

    michaels fine, he is here in LA taking care of the ranch business, it is in all of the news here in hollywood. nice try though…

  6. Anonymous says:

    Kip Johnes, not found on reuters, must be a mistake or something, besides he is here in LA, I saw him today and he looked fine to me.

  7. mr. jones says:

    anon what is this april fools ? or wishfull thinking, and don’t be talking about michael about that he is a role model for us.

  8. Anonymous says:

    “Michael Jackson’s face caves in”
    Monday ,November 12, 2007
    By Kip Johnes

    ..Michael Jackson, whos face has been held together by super glue awoke to find that he had swallowed his nose in an apparent facial collapse. Attendents at the American Hospital in Paris worked dilligently to replace several key bones in his face to allow some support for cartilage replacement.

    When asked what his apearence was, one doctor is quoted as saying, ” it was horrible, he was totally unrecognizable. Where his nasal cavity should have been was nothing more than a gaping hole.”

    Jackson who has seen better days was unavailable for comment hours after the emergency surgery. Reports say he was whisked away to a clinic in nearby Chartres, France where he will spend weeks of recouperation.

  9. Old Hag in a house says:

    And I thought that I was crazy!

  10. average joe says:

    Country wide, citicorp, bofa, wells, welcome to the new ENRON ?

  11. Mr Jones says:

    My bad, I mean those that are residing outside of the US in other countries that use the Euro for their currency.

  12. Anonymous says:

    mr jones, the “average american” IS a foreigner.

  13. Mr Happy says:

    Elevator music please:

    Banks said to agree on $75B credit fund: report

    Agreement would end months of complicated negotiations as economic conditions deteriorate, according to The New York Times

    All is well

  14. average joe says:

    CEO of country wide;

    Friday, 24 Aug 2007

    Well, I think it’s great. First of all, it’s made us stronger. It’s made us stronger. It’s made us, you know, the things we’re looking at, we never thought we’d have to look at before because we had–we had access to commercial paper at will, repo lines at will, medium term notes at will. So our financing was never an issue here at Countrywide. It’s made us a much stronger company. We have control of all of our data today that we didn’t–and I say it was not as expert as it is today. Countrywide’s future is going to be great. You know, it’s always been great. We’ve been, you know, we’re one of the best performing share stocks and stocks in the New York Stock Exchange for the last 40 years. You know, better than Berkshire Hathaway, and I love Warren, but that it makes me proud to have, you know, people that we beat. Microsoft. We’re better than Dell. We’re better than all of those to our shareholders. We want to continue doing that. That’s who we work for. So I think down the line this is going to be a better company, a more profitable company, and a company that’s a great investment for shareholders as we continue down the line because the market ultimately will come to us. This is America. People want to own homes. This will stabilize, and we’ll go on from there. I’ve been through crisis before, never like this, but everyone of these you come out stronger, better and with less competition. And that’s where I think we’re going.

  15. mr jones says:

    you keep saying that but the market is coming down as well ……….

  16. mr jones says:

    all of our problems will go away ?

  17. Anonymous says:

    the stock market is all about earnings. don’t confuse it with the bubble real estate market.

  18. average joe says:

    well a foreigner can come to riverside and buy up 200 homes for half price, it has been done before, how about 20000 homes at half price ?

    I bet the market goes down to 11000 this week, that is a 2000 drop;, well at least 12000 that is more realistic because they have failsafes built in, even in a free fall it can only go down 400 points in a day max.

  19. mr jones says:

    you mean stinking worthless dollar ? time to move to europe !!!!!!!!!

  20. luke220 says:

    Just one correction to the above: only the best houses in the best locations will go up in value. The rich foreigners won’t be looking in Riverside. JMHO.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Sinking dollar, rising portfolio:

    Stocks have soared even as the greenback drops like a brick. That may not last. Here’s how to protect yourself.

    cnn money not good:

  22. mr jones says:

    okay ms millie, you can get a 500k condo for 250k euro better ?

  23. Mr jones says:

    yes but the foreigners are going to now keep the RE market from crashing and it will most likely go higher.

    no more RE crash; and the average american will not be able to afford a home.

  24. Ms Millie says:

    You guys do go on and on don’t you?
    Everything is expensive everywhere PERIOD!Euros,Dollars,Pounds or pesos.
    The best shit costs a lot of money.

  25. Anonymous says:

    If the value of the house goes down, it doesn’t matter what currency you used to pay for it. It still went DOWN.

    If a house sells for 25m dollars, and I pay (approx) 17mm euros.

    The house drops to 10m dollars, then it is now worth 6.8m euros.

    I still lose! DUH!

  26. mr jones says:

    us dollar is now worth half of the euro……….. yes half

    25mm mansion if you are from europe will cost you 12.5mm

  27. Aunt Mary says:

    West village boutique, here’s a list for starters: bougresse, charogne, chienne, connarde, connasse, garce, peau de vache, rosse, salope, teigne, vache

    But are they spending any of their purse heavy euros?

  28. Anonymous says:

    Michael’s family needs to stage a sit down and tell it like it is intervention although if coming within an inch of spending the rest of his life in prison didn’t get through to him I’m not sure they could either.

  29. West Village bouique owner says:

    What’s “BITCH” in French?

  30. West Village bouique owner says:

    It’s Sunday,the shop is’s hell.The fucking French are so rude!

  31. Ms Frivolity says:

    Yes It’s Sunday and my pot addled brain,I use Linda’s “latin lover” dealer,is not spelling well.LIKE.yes i couldn’t spell like,so spelling police back off unless you feel like trying to out write me in wit an sas on an epic story about some men in gray 1980s pin striped suits?No I thought not!

  32. Mr jones says:


    Foreigners to buy at half price ?

    This just sucks !!!!!!!

  33. Ms Frivolity says:

    Yes we all know about the japanese buyin……………………Oh shit I just nodded off.My point is that that’s boring old news and you need an on strike writer,moi,to rewrite the whole thing with a little zing and period detail.I won’t bore you with a lengthy re telling of a drole corporate deal,but I would spice it up with words lie “kimono” and “Mikimoto”.That’s enough you can imagine the rest.

  34. Anonymous says:

    i remember when the Japs were going to own everything. nope, they just bought at the top and sold at the bottom.

    October 31, 1989
    Japanese Buy New York Cachet With Deal for Rockefeller Center

    LEAD: The Rockefeller Group, the owner of Rockefeller Center, Radio City Music Hall and other mid-Manhattan office buildings, said yesterday that it had sold control of the company to the Mitsubishi Estate Company of Tokyo, one of the world’s biggest real estate developers.

    The Rockefeller Group, the owner of Rockefeller Center, Radio City Music Hall and other mid-Manhattan office buildings, said yesterday that it had sold control of the company to the Mitsubishi Estate Company of Tokyo, one of the world’s biggest real estate developers.

    Richard A. Voell, Rockefeller’s president and chief executive, said Mitsubishi would pay $846 million in cash for a 51 percent interest. The proceeds will go into the family trusts established by John D. Rockefeller Jr. in 1934 and be used to diversify the family’s holdings.

    The deal, which comes almost exactly 50 years after Rockefeller Center opened on Nov. 1, 1939, is only the latest instance of the Japanese buying a vital piece of the American landscape, from Hollywood to Wall Street. In September, the Sony Corporation bought Columbia Pictures for $3.4 billion.

    David Rockefeller, the company’s chairman, said in a statement that the agreement ”preserves the abiding commitment to Rockefeller Center and New York City which my father made more than 50 years ago, and which present generations of the family continue to feel.” There has been talk that the 88 Rockefeller descendants, all beneficiaries of the 1934 trusts, had wanted to take advantage of high Manhattan property values and turn their stakes into cash. ‘Nobody’s Cashing Out’

    September 12, 1995

    The Mitsubishi Estate Company of Japan plans to walk away from its almost $2 billion investment in Rockefeller Center, the Hope diamond of world real estate.

    Mitsubishi proposed yesterday afternoon that it pass ownership of the Manhattan property to Rockefeller Center Properties Inc., the publicly traded real estate investment trust that holds the $1.3 billion mortgage on the center, according to advisers involved in the negotiations to bring Rockefeller Center out of bankruptcy protection.

    Mitsubishi’s sudden decision to exit Rockefeller Center is the most striking in a string of recent retreats from the trophy properties stretching from New York to Honolulu that Japanese companies acquired during a real estate binge in the 1980’s.

  35. Anonymous says:

    I think we owe our debts of gratitude to a Mr. Greenspan.

  36. Mr jones says:


    Foreigners are now going to invest in the US RE market and make our problems go away due to the US dollar now worth half of the Euro.

    If that happens we are all screwed:

    Thanks you mr. bush

  37. Anonymous says:

    on one of those “flip” shows, they had an episode with a guy who said he was buying never land for $X, but his plan was to cut it up and sell it off in pieces as separate lots for a whole lot more than $X, under the theory that “the sum of the parts are worth more than the whole.”

  38. Anonymous says:

    I live and work in the same area as Neverland and also a Real Estate Broker. The property could fetch about 35-40M on the open market, however there is an open issue with the County of Santa Barbara, It was way over developed and a new buyer will have to either get approvals for all the extra development (doubtful) or tear it down, but it is a very very nice property. Knowing the area as I do, even with the big price this place will find a buyer prior to foreclosure if he decides to sell.

    My prediction: Bankruptcy and lawsuits will be the future!

  39. Like I told Mr Jones for about 200 grand you’d get the chimp cage,can you imagine what the bedroom furniture would go for at auction etc?

  40. Anonymous says:

    how much would that ranch fetch if he sold it?

  41. Anonymous says:

    back off 11:37.

    we love strapping hunk’s reports. keep on keepin’ on big boy.

  42. No,Strapping Hunk is funny and he has a way of telling a story that is his,and his alone.
    Fuck off.

  43. Anonymous says:

    strapping hunk, grow up, you sound stupid

  44. Anonymous says:

    Hello Mama, Strapping Hunk reporting in. Being someone who runs in the celebrity circles, I’ll help the children understand the dealings of the rich and famous – the process. Mr. Jackson, or Ms. Jackson, will have a redemption period to reclaim the property. Once the Trustee sends the notice of default, Mr/Ms. Jackson has a number of days and/or months to either bring the loan current or refinance the entire note. See children, in some states, you have up to six months before you even have to make another payment once the Notice of Default has been filed. Oh, you little star struck kids, Sit tight, Mr/Ms. Jackson will, I preDICKT, correct the default and then sell the damn porn ranch. He won’t give it up. Reporting live from the Santa Barbara Ranch house, Near O, this is Strapping Hunk out.

  45. No Mr Jones you get the chimp cage!

  46. This comment has been removed by the author.

  47. mr jones says:

    so if he defaults, how much can I get the ranch for ? 212k ?

  48. luke220 says:

    The ranch is also being shown at, interestingly showing the owner as Michael Jackson!

  49. Anonymous says:

    How are his kids white actually? I nvr really thought about it until you mentioned it Mama – obviously his genes are african american but those kids are whiter & blonder than kids from Scandanavia! I always thought they were his biological children but it would seem not – can’t believe after all these years this has just dawned on me – someone please explain.

More Dirt News from Variety