SELLER: Jack Black
LOCATION: 2940 N. Beachwood Drive
SIZE: 2,694 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Crisp, modern reinterpretation of a classic Beachwood Canyon Traditional. Situated on a knoll, a min north of the famed Beachwood Village. This gated celebrity residence has been redone for the most sophisticated clientele. 3 bds, 3 ba w/ glass mosaic tile & spa-like feel, open plan living rm/dining/large den opening to private, pool-sized yard, plus downstairs media room & gym/office. A truly turn key opportunity for the perfectionist in all of us.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Jack Black seemingly goes around acting like a bufoon much of the time, but make no mistake, this is one smart cookie. Not only is he the child of not one, but TWO rocket scientists, he was edumacated at Crossroads School, the prestigious and expensive private school for arts and sciences in Santa Monica that caters to the rich and bohemian. Other celebrity grads of Crossroads include Kate and Oliver Hudson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Maya Rudolph, and Zooey Deschanel.
Black, whose real name is not Jack Black but Thomas Black, also has a comedy rock band that satires rock and rock called Tenacious D which is actually quite a fun band. Mister Jack Black has had a much longer and more successful career in Hollywood than Your Mama thought. Did y’all know he appeared on the Golden Girls spin on The Golden Palace as well as on Northern Exposure? Remember that stoopid show with the moose walking down the middle of the street?
Currently, Mister Jack Black makes the big bucks starring in films like King Kong, Nacho Libre, and Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny. These larger film roles that pay him upwards of $8,000,000 per film have allowed Mister Jack Black to move from this Beachwood Canyon house all the way to a house in Beverly Hills with a long, curving movie star driveway.
Purchased in March of 2001 for $720,000, Your Mama presumes Mister Jack Black lived up in this modest house with his then girlfriend Laura Kightlinger, a comedic actress whose name we did not recognize but whose face we did…lady played Nurse Shiela on Will and Grace and recently starred in a show called The Minor Accomplishments of Jackie Woodman on the IFC channel.
In November of 2002, Kightlinger and Mister Jack Black bought another house on a little bit west on Eastwood Drive in the Hollywood Hills. In April of 2005 Mister Jack Black then purchased another house, this time the relatively modest house in Beverly Hills that has the long curving driveway. Also sometime in 2005 Mister Jack Black swapped out Kightlinger for a new lady friend, this time a cellist that he went to high school with. She became impregnated and they got married.
Along the way, the new couple did some major renovations on the Bev Hills house and we presume this is where the happy couple live with their young son.
Now it seems Mister Jack Black is divesting some of his real estate including this Beachwood Canyon house, which has been recently renovated and exuberantly staged. Everyone knows by now that Your Mama has mixed feelings about staged houses. Yes, they do look nice and they help to hide flaws and problematic areas of a house, but they also look so strangely vacant and depressing. They have this lifeless quality about them that causes Your Mamas chest to ache a little and yearn for a stack of books or a bottle of shampoo.
Anyhoo, this house, located on beautiful N. Beachwood Drive, has been given a dramatic exterior paint job that really appeals to Your Mama. We also like the metal work on the front gates, but seriously, those gates are sorta useless as a security measure. With a running start, even Your Mama could hop our fat ass over that thing.
Of course we love the espresso colored floors and we’re totally appreciating the kitchen. It is a little dark in there, but we love the green tile and even though we prefer a Thermador, we do like that old six burner model.
We’re not sure what all those sitting rooms are, but we’d probably lose one of them. The grass cloth on the walls of the room is good, but that suede sofa is questionable in our book.
The back yard appears to have been staged just like the interior, but we’re feeling that raised platform deck and we’re quite sure that rough white thing lights up at night making for some interesting garden ambiance.
Given that this house looks great and is nicely located, if only on a busy street, Your Mama imagines someone will snap this place up sooner rather than later. But all your Los Angeles real estate people might know more about that than we do.