SELLER: Isaiah Washington
LOCATION: N. Sycamore Avenue, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,695,000 (monthly maintenance: $1,072)
SIZE: 2,149 square feet, 4 bedrooms 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Stunning Modernist fusion w/ 1920s classic details. Rare SE corner overlooking pool & gardens. 28 ft. entry, dark herringbone wood flrs, high ceilings, detailed moldings, recessed lighting, chef’s kit, lrge liv rm w/ frplce, recessed light, & built-in sound sys. Formal din rm, Master w/ walk-in closet, white marble bath. Double paned window. Pool, spa, gym. Gated garage. Only 4 units per floor with no common walls. This is a good one!
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: As the story goes, Isaiah Washington went and got himself fired from his plum role on Grey’s Anatomy for making inflammatory and homophobic remarks. We don’t know anything about whether the stories are true or not, but Your Mama confesses that the beleaguered actor has some good taste in interior appointments. However, before we get to his Hancock Park co-op, which he recently put on the market for $1,695,000, Your Mama has to get a few things off our chest.
Do we even need to tell y’all that this tall, dark and cool drink of water drives Your Mama direct to the nerve pills? This man, who will not shut his damn trap about his perceived injustice at the hands of the Grey’s Anatomy bigwigs, has us so upset with his numerous rantings and ravings that we had to get loaded on the nerve pills just to discuss his apartment.
Lawhd children, the man has gone and already found another job on The Bionic Woman AND he’s about to make nearly a million clams on the sale of his apartment and he still won’t shut up. Isaiah hunny, we are trying to help you here, so you would do well to listen to Your Mama when we tell you that the more you whine and complain about how you was done wrong, the less anyone believes anything your ass has got to say. The details of the on-set dust up do not matter anymore. You got fired. Move on. Hollywood has a short memory, so do yourself a big favor and keep your big mouth shut and let the drama dissipate.
The married daddy of three small children purchased this apartment, located in a dee–luxe apartment building called the Faubourg St. Denis, back in September of 2000 for $738,000. Located on the third floor overlooking the complex swimming pool and common gardens, the 2,149 square foot apartment has 4 bedroom, 3.5 bathrooms, a separate dining room, gorgeous high ceilings, and stunning vintage moldings. But no terrace, which is a deal breaker for Your Mama. If there is no place for our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly to soak up the sun, then Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter can not even consider living there.
With only four apartments per floor that do not share any common walls, the building is well suited for celebs and other privacy seekers. Your Mama appreciates the long, looong entrance hall because there’s nothing worse than a front door that opens directly into the living room. Oh no. That just makes it too easy for that snarky Chinese food delivery man to stand at your door and judge you because he can see that you are watching re-runs of Wife Swap and your dog is licking the carpet where you dropped egg foo young from last night’s Chinese order in meal.
The delicious ebonized wood floors sweep us into the living room where we are greeted by a couple of Corbusier’s LC2 black leather chairs. Hello. Your Mama knows that framed photographs help to make a house feel like a home, but in this case, the wonderfully carved mantle is not the place to showcase pictures of smiling babies with their grandparents. Also, we recommend getting rid of the baby grand piano unless someone in the house actually plays the thing. We adore that the Washingtons have left the casement windows essentially bare–we do note the floor to ceiling sheers behind the piano–and the red sofa is a shocking and titillating punch of color. And books, please notice the books on the coffee table! Also, could that be a wee Dan Flavin sculpture shining on the back wall?
Except for the tremendous plaster shields in the ceiling corners, the dining room has been pleasantly stripped of artifice. We appreciate the simple chocolate curtains which quietly frame the window and the over-scale artwork with it’s black and white bulls eye motif unexpectedly reflects Mister Washington’s stance as a racial target.
Once upon a time in another city in another state Your Mama had a teeny kitchen with a spectacular view and a black and white tiled floor. We loved the checkerboard floor back then, and while we’ve moved beyond wanting another one, we can still appreciate the bold and graphic pattern it creates. And in this particular apartment, we like the way it effectively and not so subtly stretches the black and white color scheme of the dining room artwork into the kitchen.
The den/television room has been given a slight 1970s vibe with the patchwork pattern on the cabinets and sliding doors. We like to imagine all that is butter soft leather sewn together into a modern tapestry, but more likely it’s stain. Either way it looks great, but the leather would be out of this world, pee in our pants good. Again we would like the children to note the books. Say what you will about Mister Isaiah Washington, but the fact that he’s got actual books up in his crib tells me he’s more than just an angry man with a pretty face.
The Mister and Missus Washington have three small children and in the room with the royal blue carpet we see the private quarters of at least one of their progeny. We are surprised to admit that we actually like the deep blue rug. It works for us against the white walls and with the orange accents on the very expensive Netto Collection crib.
Once upon a time Your Mama was acquainted with the man who designs the very expensive baby furniture featured in this room, who back in the 1990s was an ambitious architecture student and trust fund kid who lived in a divey parlor floor apartment on St. Marks Street in New York’s East Village, vacationed with Tatiana von Furstenberg, and quietly complained of not having enough money to keep up with his truly rich friends.
But we digress. We imagine that with three small children it’s simply time for the Washington family to move to a proper house with room for the kiddies to splash in a pool and climb all over a very expensive and custom made backyard jungle gym.
Because Your Mama likes to give credit where it is deserved, we would also like the children to know that Mister Isaiah Washington has a production company called Coalhouse Productions which aims to “promote social integrity and change.” Also Your Mama would like to tip our hat to the tri-named Billy Bob Blabbermouth for cluing us in to this property.