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Brian Bosworth’s Big Villa in Malee-boo

SELLER: Brian Bosworth
LOCATION: Meadows Court, Malibu, CA
PRICE: $11,900,000
SIZE: 7 bedrooms, 10 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Spectacular Villa, with unparalleled views in the best area of Malibu. “Paradise Cove” the scale of this estate is matched only by it’s views. Approx 11,000 sq ft of remarkable craftsmanship. Formal areas, family areas w/ expansive decks, guest house, 4 car garages, exquisite pool/spa w/ pool house, lush landscaping. One of a kind trophy property.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: All the children can probably imagine that Your Mama did not have a clue who this Brian Bosworth person is and why anyone might care that he’s selling a big house in Malee-boo. A quick search on the internets told us he was a professional football player turned wannabe actor.

Not knowing a thing about football other than it gets played on a big grassy field with an oval ball and a lot of burly men in nearly see through tights, Your Mama got on the horn to our pal Fiona Trambeau out in San Francisco who relishes and delights in all things ball related. Fiona, with her infinite sports related wisdom, told us that “The Boz” was known for his flamboyant, controversial and combative ways. And a hideous trademark mullet hair-do. Then Fiona started to go on about steroid use, big contracts with the Seattle Seahawks, and a lackluster professional career, but Your Mama fell asleep from boredom while Fiona yammered on and on. So, unfortunately that’s all we really know about Mister Bosworth’s football career.

Whatever the boring details of Mister Bosworth’s professional football career, it appears from the listing that Mister Bosworth has obtained his real estate license, because he’s shown as the listing agent for this big “villa” up in Malee-boo overlooking Escondido Beach.

Located up a gated street of a small development of McMansions that we think is called Sycamore Meadows (anyone?), the house occupies 1.7 acres at the top of the cul de sac and features a long gated driveway and lovely views over the Pacific Ocean. Other than that, there’s precious little Your Mama actually likes or finds particularly notable about this house.

Perhaps we’re in the minority of folks here, but somebody please educate Your Mama on the demographic of people who can afford a $10,000,000+ house in Malee-boo who would want a big generic “villa” finished like an upscale tract house in Temecula? We’re certain this house is large and well appointed with lots of bedrooms, bathrooms and an ocean view swimming pool, but in our very humble opinion, this just looks like a somewhat upscale builder’s grade house.

The listings states the house measures approximately 11,000 square feet with 7 bedrooms and 10 bathrooms. However, property records on file with the assessor show a house measuring 8,854 square feet with 6 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms. Perhaps the larger numbers include the the guest quarters above the garage and the pool house?

Your Mama had a tough time sorting through the property records on this one, so we’re unsure whether Mister Bosworth and his soon to be ex-wifey ever actually lived in this house. And frankly, we don’t really care. All we really want to know is, who spends $10,000,000 to buy a house like this?

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