40 Acres (And A Mule?) for Jamie Foxx

BUYER: Jamie Foxx
PRICE: $10,500,000
LOCATION: Potrero Road, Hidden Valley, CA
SIZE: 40.22 acres, 17,000 square feet (approx), 10 bedrooms, 12 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Fabulous estate of 40 private acres in prestigious Hidden Valley. Claddaugh Farms features a Mediterranean estate home with quarry-matched limestone throughout. Retreat style living in this 17,000 square foot villa with 10 bedrooms, 12 bathrooms, library, formal living room and dining room, family and game rooms, full gym and an unbelievable gourmet kitchen with a gorgeous breakfast room. Grand master suite with sitting room, two fireplaces, atrium, dual private baths, sauna and balcony. Olympic-size pool, spa, cabana studio, north/south tennis courts, playing fields and two unbelievable guest houses.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We’re gonna piggy back on Miz Ruth Ryon’s most recent Hot Properties column in the LA Times, and discuss the little country place out in bucolic sounding Hidden Valley that Jamie Foxx recently purchased for a reported $10,500,000. A nice little place out of the city and away from the pressures of Hollywood can be a good thing for high paid in demand actors like Oscar winning Foxx, who has been catapulted to super stardom in the last several years with hit films like Ray and Dreamgirls, and Miami Vice, which reportedly earned Foxx $10,000,000, and undoubtedly heaps of puntang, for his role as Ricardo Tubbs.

Now babies, Your Mama does not profess to know what makes a hit movie and what does not, but we would have bet the precious lives of our little bitches Linda and Beverly that a remake of the television show Miami Vice would be a resounding failure. Even though it starred Foxx and Irish dirty boy Colin Farrell, two very bankable stars, the movie failed to recoup the production costs. Pity.

No matter to piano playing lady killer Foxx though. According to Miz Ryon, he still made enough scratch to buy a 17,000 square foot pimp crib with 10 bedrooms and 12 damn terlits. The monster mansion sprawls over 40 acres in rural Thousand Oaks and includes an Olympic length swimming pool, tennis courts, playing fields, not to mention a lot of dirt trails, probably for driving around on one of those death trap three-wheel a.t.v. things.

Children this house is so big it would take Your Mama half the day to walk from one end to the other. By the time we got the industrial kitchen for our morning coffee, it would be time to run around and head back to the master bedroom with it’s atrium (what?), sitting room, 2 fireplaces and dual bathrooms.

Let’s talk about the 12 terlits for a moment. Seriously, that is a lot of terlits for one man to have. Sure, he’s got a kid and prolly a large posse of peeps and hos for whom he needs to provide space to evacuate, but still…Foxx is going to need more than one girl living up in that house whose only jobs are to scrub terlits and sinks full time. So we sincerely hope Mister Foxx continues to earn the big bucks to pay the cleaning staff, otherwise he’s going to be too busy working a terlit brush to make any more hit movies.

It is only our opinion, but we happen to think the front of this house is ugly. We rarely feel positive when driving up to a house that looks like a small hotel or country club in suburban Detroit. We do, however, recognize that many folks find 20-something foot tall porte cocheres are indeed an excellent choice for displaying one’s success and wealth and impressing guests even before they get to the front door where they are greeted by a butler in an entrance hall the size of a hotel lobby.

We sorta like that room with the chocolate brown walls. Sorta. Love the color, love the drawings above the gloriously decadent fireplace. But the white chairs and the rug…not so much.

Your Mama likes to imagine this place will end up being like the Playboy Mansion with an endless stream of big titted and scantily clad hunnies strutting around in high heels with their skin all slicked up with baby oil. Somewhere over near the guest houses would be ground zero where Mister Foxx would recline in the shade wrapped in a silk smoking jacket sipping a nice cool cocktail while choosing his pick of the litter. Because, you know, this man likes to have sex 30 minutes a day, every day, for exercise. So his posse might consider busing the big booty bitches out from Los Angeles on a weekly basis. Certainly there is enough room to house them while on the grounds trying to woo and impress Mister Foxx with their silicone implants and tricky hip gyrations.

As was noted Mr. Big Time over at Big Time Listings, Mister Foxx continues to own the 5,426 square foot house in Tarzana he has called home since 1997 when he paid $930,000 for the 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom single story mini-estate with swimming pool and half court basketball set up. We’re totally guessing here, but Your Mama imagines Foxx will keep this house in Tarzana. Or perhaps sell it and buy another house “in town.” Hidden Valley is a long way from the Hollywood hot spots where Mister Foxx likes to hang out and entertain the ladies.

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