Here at Daily Variety, we know how busy party planners get this time of year. So we decided to make resolutions for the busy bees who throw the parties we (mostly) enjoy throughout the year.
1. Start on time. Keeping your guests waiting for an hour, then blithely blaming it in on traffic in Malibu — as Kevin Spacey did at the AFI opener for “Beyond the Sea” — is downright rude. If you keep only one resolution this year, this should be it.
2. Fix the sound at Grauman’s Chinese.
3. Straighten out the ArcLight parking quagmire so Dome preemgoers don’t have to endure the ninth circle of hell before the movie starts unspooling.
4. Realize everyone in Hollywood is not on Atkins: Break out the bread, already.
5. Match the after-party’s vibe to the movie. A cavernous, multilevel disco fit for a bar mitzvah after a euthanasia pic (“The Sea Inside”) might not be the way to go. Ditto a ridiculously swanky meat-packing district bar for a molestation pic (“The Woodsman”).
6. Make Westwood more habitable for post-parties … somehow.
7. Break down the barriers for VIP sections: Encourage stars to mingle, at least for a little while, with the rest of the guests. While you’re at it, tell security to lay off the assault weapons.
8. Speaking of stars, prod them to get to their parties at a reasonable hour. That goes for Broadway divas who indulge in lengthy hair-and-makeup sessions after the curtain call and thesps who duck out of the screening for their own private party.
9. Set up tables — standing or sit-down — when you serve a buffet so guests can actually eat the food without getting it all over themselves and their neighbors. Make at least one table unreserved.
10. Similarly, do not serve drinks in martini glasses, which are doomed to spill.
11. Only hire security guards from L.A. for L.A. parties. It doesn’t matter if they know who Rudy Giuliani is if they bar Peter Chernin and Barry Meyer from entering their own parties.
12. Do not turn up the sound for the hearing-impaired; parties do not need to be deafening.
13. Hire Wolfgang Puck to take over catering at the BevHilton.
14. If you are going to hand out goodie bags, have one for everybody. Especially if you send out a press release listing all the freebies inside, as “ET”-People did for their joint Emmy bash.
15. Hire enough valets for the guest list. In case you’re wondering: two valets for 1,000 revelers at the Century Plaza is not enough.
(Bill Higgins, Zachary Pincus-Roth, Ian Mohr, Robert Hofler and Addie Morfoot contributed to this report.)