During their salad days as TV sketch comedy satirists, "SCTV" alumnus Dave Thomas and "Saturday Night Live" vet Dan Aykroyd would have eviscerated a brain-dead gross-out comedy such as "Intern Academy." But that was then, this is now: Thomas directed and wrote this painfully unfunny clunker and plays a key supporting role, and Aykroyd appears in a part much too prominent to be dismissed as a cameo goof. Fortunately for both men, only undiscriminating homevid renters and pay-cable viewers likely will ever know of this Canadian-produced pic, which fizzled in a fleeting Great White North theatrical run.

During their salad days as TV sketch comedy satirists, “SCTV” alumnus Dave Thomas and “Saturday Night Live” vet Dan Aykroyd would have eviscerated a brain-dead gross-out comedy such as “Intern Academy.” But that was then, this is now: Thomas directed and wrote this painfully unfunny clunker and plays a key supporting role, and Aykroyd appears in a part much too prominent to be dismissed as a cameo goof. Fortunately for both men, only undiscriminating homevid renters and pay-cable viewers likely will ever know of this Canadian-produced pic, which fizzled in a fleeting Great White North theatrical run.

Imagine a “Police Academy” knockoff conceived by failed Farrelly Brothers’ students, and you’re ready for the broadly played hijinx at St. Albert’s Teaching Hospital. This second-rate healing center remains open only because its smarmy administrator (Aykroyd) frequently sells medical equipment on the black market.

During on-the-job training taught by Dr. Denton Whiteside (Thomas), attractive young interns divide their time between braving occupational hazards — blood, vomit, exploding colostomy bags — and satisfying libidinal urges. Class includes stressed nerd (Peter Oldring), who wants to please his physician parents; oversexed babe (Christine Chatelain), who moonlights as a stripper; and undersexed cutie (Jane McLean), who doffs her inhibitions (among other things) while drunk.

Occasionally, a stray bit of dialogue manages to amuse. (“Are you sexually active?” “No, sir, I just lie there.”) More often, however, pic relies on cringe-worthy jokes that range from crude to repellent. Too frequently, Thomas and his cast appear dedicated to putting the “gag” back into “sight gag.”

Flat lighting, unattractive lensing and pinchpenny production values suggest a mid-’80s direct-to-vid quickie that is long past its expiration date.

Intern Academy

Canada

Production

A TVA Films release of a Minds Eye Entertainment production in association with Maple & Palm Prods., Entersport Holdings, Studio Entertainment and the Second City Entertainment. Produced by Josh Miller. Executive producers, Andrew Alexander, Kevin DeWalt. Directed, written by Dave Thomas.

Crew

Camera (color), John Spooner; editor, Doug Forbes; production designer, Scott Dobbie; art director, Myron Hyrak; costume designer, Jill Concannon; sound (Dolby Digital), Garrell Clark; assistant director, Pierre Tremblay. Reviewed at Canada Square Theatre, Toronto, Sept. 15, 2004. Running time: 99 MIN.

With

Mike Bonnert - Peter Oldring Dale Dodd - Pat Kelly Marlon Thomas - Viv Leacock Mira Towers - Ingrid Kavelaars Christine Lee - Jane McLean Mitzi Cole - Christine Chatelain Cynthia Skyes - Lynda Boyd Sarah Calder - Carly Pope Dr. Denton Whiteside - Dave Thomas Dr. Cyrill Kipp - Dan Aykroyd Dr. Roger "Tony" Toussant - Maury Chaykin Dr. Anton Keller - Matt Frewer Dr. Sam Bonnert - Saul Rubinek
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