Review: ‘I’ve Seen the Stars!’

Vincenzo Salemme's latest stab at holiday B.O. revelry displays a dearth of genuine laughs. Another entry in the comic catalogue of straight men pretending to be gay, Salemme tempts his core fans with revealing shots of scantily clad beauties, but there's better fare on offer among other current Italo releases.

Vincenzo Salemme’s latest stab at holiday B.O. revelry displays a dearth of genuine laughs. “I’ve Seen the Stars!” is another entry in the comic catalogue of straight men pretending to be gay. Salemme tempts his core fans with revealing shots of scantily clad beauties, but there’s better fare on offer among other current Italo releases. Wide local distribution will translate into respectable biz during Christmas period, with greater success on 1/2-inch.

Antonio (Salemme) was raised to see life as one great fantasyland, so he jumps at an offer to participate in a reality TV show in Milan. Only catch is the producers want him to be gay, so Antonio plays the part in exaggerated style, roping in best friend Eugenio (Maurizio Casagrande, Salemme’s usual sidekick) as his b.f. The act works so well that mob boss Renato (Claudio Amendola), who’s insanely jealous of his mistress, Alina (former Miss Czech Republic Alena Seredova), sets Antonio up in a house with her, comforted by the thought that no gay guy would touch her. Salemme’s singing, unlike his acting, is mildly agreeable.

I've Seen the Stars!

Italy

Production

A Mikado release of a Mikado Film, Chi & Di Scena production. Produced by Luigi Musini, Roberto Cicutto, Valeria Esposito. Directed, written by Vincenzo Salemme.

Crew

Camera (color), Mauro Marchetti; editor, Claudio Di Mauro; music, Antonio Boccia; production designer, Stefano Giambanco; costume designer, Pamela Aicardi. Reviewed at Cinema Quattro Fontane, Rome, Dec. 15, 2003. Running time: 88 MIN.

With

Vincenzo Salemme, Maurizio Casagrande, Alena Seredova, Claudio Amendola, Gian, Venantino Venantini, Enzo Cannavale, Linda Moretti, Ernesto Lama, Roberto Posse, Lilli Tirinnanzi, Tetyana Hermakowska, Biancamaria Lelli, Daniela Marazita, Valentina Sperli.
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