Order a Pulitzer! This great column

Order a Pulitzer! This great column

BLURBMEISTERS ARE THINKING LOCAL, but acting global.

For years, studio marketers have quoted enthusiastic critics in newspaper and TV ads for films. But recently, there have been a few significant changes in the blurbs.

First, reviewers from such passe media as newspapers and magazines now are quoted less, as the studios shift the balance to people from Web sites and TV stations.

Second, local-TV reviewers are suddenly speaking on behalf of the whole network. For example, Mark S. Allen of Sacramento’s KMAX is identified in the ads as “Mark S. Allen, UPN-TV.” Allen represented the whole UPN network when he praised such films as “Mickey Blue Eyes” (“The best romantic comedy this summer!”) and “Random Hearts” (“This season’s most powerful performances!”).

So, in the height of awards season, we present a tribute to the blurbmeisters and the marketers who love them — the best ad quotes from the end of the 20th century.

AVALANCHE OF ROCKS

Patty Spitler, NBC-TV– ” ‘Outside Providence’ rocks!”

Sandie Newton, CBS-TV Fort Worth — ” ‘Drive Me Crazy’ rocks!”

Maria Salas, Gems — ” ‘End of Days’ rocks!”

CRITICS FOR THE AGES

Sara Edwards, NBC TV, “Anna and the King” — “One of the best films of the decade!”

Mark S. Allen, UPN-TV, “The Green Mile” — “Undoubtedly one of the last great films of the century!”

David Sheehan, CBS-TV, “Bicentennial Man” — “The most beautiful movie of the millennium!”

NO

Larry King, USA Today, “Toy Story 2” — “Wow! What a movie. … Can I give it six stars?!”

MINORITY REPORTS

Tom Joad, Ain’t-It-Cool-News.com, “Detroit Rock City” — “The most enjoyable film of the summer.”

Kyle Osborne, CBS, “For Love of the Game” — “Among the great sports films of all time!”

Sean Jordan, Zentertainment.com “The Bachelor” — “Hands down the best romantic comedy of the year.”

Cary Burglund, KCAL, “Crazy in Alabama” — “One of the best pictures of the year!”

Susan Stark, Detroit News, “Teaching Mrs. Tingle” — “We’re talking about Oscar-caliber work!”

WERE THERE A LOT OF FILMS COMPETING IN THESE CATEGORIES?

Michael Atkinson, Village Voice, “Last Night” — “The best apocalypse movie of the season, hands down!”

Kenneth Chanko, Newark Star-Ledger, “Felicia’s Journey” — “Unequivocally the richest, most provocative serial killer movie in cinema history.”

OSCAR’S CLOUDED CRYSTAL BALL

Tim Reid, Eyada.com, “Jakob the Liar” — “Robin Williams gives an Oscar-worthy performance.”

Rex Reed, New York Observer, “Anywhere But Here” — “I predict many nominations when Oscar season rolls around.”

Jim Svejda, CBS “The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc” — “One of the year’s best films! It is propelled by Milla Jovovich’s astonishing Oscar-caliber performance.”

OUR INSISTENT CRITICS

Paul Zimmerman, Details magazine, “American Movie” — “It’s all true! See it or die!”

YOU’LL FEEL LIKE NED BEATTY IN ‘DELIVERANCE’!

Patty Spitler, WISH, “The Bone Collector” — “A smart, scary surprise! It will make you gasp, sweat and squeal.”

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