Jennifer Beals is Xinia, a lovely cat burglar who has some "issues" with dad (who shows up in the hospital after a 20-year absence) and mom (Rita Moreno, whose role is nothing more than a cameo).

Jennifer Beals is Xinia, a lovely cat burglar who has some “issues” with dad (who shows up in the hospital after a 20-year absence) and mom (Rita Moreno, whose role is nothing more than a cameo).

Upset by her father’s sudden reappearance, Xinia goes to a local hangout and tries to seduce Bram (Powers Boothe), who tells her he’s a “snake rancher.”

The pair eventually hook up, and engage in steamy sex that looks like — hilariously — an outtake from “Showgirls.”

Then the plot thickens, as Xinia discovers Bram’s really a cop who’s been trailing her, and Bram wants to burgle with her. And have some more “Showgirls”-quality sex.

Through some twists and turns, true nature of Bram is revealed to Xinia, but not before he can get in some more “Showgirls”-like sex.

Writers Livia Linden and Percy Angress have conceived what begins as a fairly intriguing game of cat and mouse, but “Spree” aims for smart and sexy — and delivers neither. Nor does it deliver anything resembling a character.

Beals and Boothe are unmemorable, and Tommy Lee Wallace’s clunky direction does nothing to establish suspense.

Rest of tech credits are OK, and Peter Manning Robinson’s score has a nice Latin lilt.

The Spree

(Telepic drama; the Movie Channel; Sat., April 18, 9 p.m.)

Production

Filmed in Vancouver by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. Executive producers, Marcy Gross, Ann Weston, Albert Berger, Ron Yerxa; director, Tommy Lee Wallace; writers, Livia Linden, Percy Angress.

Crew

Camera, Richard Leiterman; editor, Judy Anderson; music, Peter Manning Robinson; production designer, David Fischer; sound, Bill Skinner; casting, Mary Jo Slater. 2 HOURS.

With

Xinia Kelly .....Jennifer Beals Bram.....Powers Boothe Irma.....Rita Moreno Colin.....Garry Chalk Ray.....John Cassini Salvador.....Nathaniel Deveaux Madden ..... Eric Keenleyside Homeowner.....Jano Frandsen Susi.....Linda Ko Cop.....Don Thompson Cocktail Waitress.....Akiko Morison Salesman.....Warren Takeuchi Cpt. Ritchie.....Terence Kelly Detective.....Alex Green Madden's Bodyguard.....Johnny Mah Billed as a film noir thriller, "The Spree" contains no noir or thrills but some double-crossing; nevertheless, Barbara Stanwyck wouldn't be caught dead near this lame offering. Premium cabler the Movie Channel has added some originals to spice up its sked, but "The Spree" looks like something that parent Showtime --- looking to polish its own image --- dumped onto its lower-profile subsid.
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