You will be redirected back to your article in seconds

This Can’t Be Love

This Can't Be Love." This can't be for real.

This Can’t Be Love.” This can’t be for real.

Anyone initially pulled in by stars Katharine Hepburn and Anthony Quinn will be quickly turned off by the plot, dialogue and acting. It’s stuff like this that could give TV movies a bad name.

Hepburn plays — or is — Marion Bennett, a reclusive, free-thinking former actress who has always publicly decried marriage. She hires Grant Landis (Jason Bateman, looking and acting like a high-school student) as her chauffeur/assistant.

Marion and Grant are being pursued by Sarah Wells (Jami Gertz), who contrives her way into Marion’s home.

The cranky, anti-social Marion is inexplicably charmed by Sarah, who secretly arranges for Marion to run into former co-star and flame Michael Reymann (Quinn).

It turns out the dueling duo was married for five days; romance is rekindled (rather quickly and unconvincingly), thanks to Grant’s help.

But Marion finds out that Michael, who is broke, needs her cooperation to write about their brief marriage in his autobiography. (Sarah is his hard-headed — and hard-hearted — editor.)

The low point of Duane Poole’s script is Hepburn’s talking to a horse. (Given her character’s penchant for dredging up names from Hollywood’s past, it’s a wonder Mr. Ed isn’t mentioned.)

Nadir for Quinn has got to be when he vaults onto a table, waving a foil threateningly at his publisher, and falls and breaks his leg.

The only good thing one can say about Hepburn’s self-parodying performance as a cantankerous, multi-Oscar winning actress is that she is no worse than the script, co-star Quinn (in a blustery performance) or anything else in this movie.

Gertz has no charm and is unconvincing as a career-driven woman who suddenly gets ethical, and Anthony Harvey’s direction is all over the place; none of the principals act as it they are in the same movie.

In a telepic where the standards are low, Peter Matz’s score stands out as one of the worst aspects.

This Can't Be Love

(Sun. (13), 9-11 p.m., CBS)

Production: Filmed in Vancouver, B.C., by Davis Entertainment and Pacific Motion Pictures Corp. in association with World Intl. Network. Exec producers, John Philip Dayton, Merrill Karpf, John Davis; producers, Tom Rowe, George Horie; director, Anthony Harvey; writer, Duane Poole.

Crew: Camera, Larry Pizer; editor, Robert Reitano; production designer, Chris August; sound, Ralph Parker; music, Peter Matz.

Cast: With: Katharine Hepburn, Anthony Quinn, Jason Bateman, Jami Gertz, Maxine Miller, Michael Feinstein, Lynda Boyd, Morris Panych, Lori Ann Triolo, David Lovgren, Bob Metcalfe, Maria Herrera, Gary Jones.

More TV

  • Tanya Saracho Starz

    'Vida' Showrunner Tanya Saracho Sets Overall Deal With Starz

    This Can’t Be Love.” This can’t be for real. Anyone initially pulled in by stars Katharine Hepburn and Anthony Quinn will be quickly turned off by the plot, dialogue and acting. It’s stuff like this that could give TV movies a bad name. Hepburn plays — or is — Marion Bennett, a reclusive, free-thinking former […]

  • McMafia review

    TV Review: 'McMafia' on AMC

    This Can’t Be Love.” This can’t be for real. Anyone initially pulled in by stars Katharine Hepburn and Anthony Quinn will be quickly turned off by the plot, dialogue and acting. It’s stuff like this that could give TV movies a bad name. Hepburn plays — or is — Marion Bennett, a reclusive, free-thinking former […]

  • Studiocanal Launches TV Production Company in

    Studiocanal Launches TV Production Company in France

    This Can’t Be Love.” This can’t be for real. Anyone initially pulled in by stars Katharine Hepburn and Anthony Quinn will be quickly turned off by the plot, dialogue and acting. It’s stuff like this that could give TV movies a bad name. Hepburn plays — or is — Marion Bennett, a reclusive, free-thinking former […]

  • 'Unsolved: The Murders of Tupac and

    'Unsolved' Stars Point Out Racial Injustice in Biggie and Tupac Murder Cases

    This Can’t Be Love.” This can’t be for real. Anyone initially pulled in by stars Katharine Hepburn and Anthony Quinn will be quickly turned off by the plot, dialogue and acting. It’s stuff like this that could give TV movies a bad name. Hepburn plays — or is — Marion Bennett, a reclusive, free-thinking former […]

More From Our Brands

Access exclusive content