GOOD MORNING: “I’ll never have lunch in this town again”– saying it this time is Peter S. Fischer, producer-writer (and co-creator of “Murder, She Wrote”). He’s hush-hush exec producing his script of “Cops and Roberts”–with his own dough. It’s a takeoff on the TV industry and a satire on cop series. He’s written a half-dozen “Columbos” and Peter Falk is doing a cameo–as a gangster–in the movie. Reached on stage, Fischer admitted, “My CAA agent is cringing. But I’m having a good time–and my golf game is improving.” His “Cops” takes off on the networks, actors, agents, etc. The movie stars Marcia Strassman , Doug Sheehan, Ron Masak, Dwayne Hickman and Leann Hunley with cameos by Jerry Orbach, Bruce Weitz, Dee Wallace Stone and Marty Ingels and wife Shirley Jones announcing Emmy nominations. Peter Crane directs … Triad alumnus Arnold Rifkin led the general motion picture meeting at the Wm. Morris office yesterday after which it broke up into separate casting and story department confabs for the new/old Morris men. At Morton’s Monday, new literary department member Todd Harris joined Morris’ John Burnham and Morgan Mason with client Michael Tolkin, who is about to start directing his “New Age”… Also at Morton’s, Barry Diller dining with Annette Bening and Warren Beatty. They were talking about the election and how the Clinton cabinet will be populated … Hollywood agents know how the rest of the unemployed nation feels–now that so many have been laid off this week. APA’s topper Marty Klein sadly noted he’d received six calls before noon yesterday. “It’s very sad–we try to steal each other’s clients, however we see each other regularly almost daily in the closeness of this 5-square-mile radius of our offices”… Larry Auerbach, retired Wm. Morris exec VP, is now lending his industry savvy to USCinema students, guiding them from classes into jobs–not to agencies, we assume … In contrast to the volatility in the talent agency world, the Irv Schechter Co. is growing quietly and consistently into the entire floor of their BevHills office building.NOT IN THE SCRIPT: Dodi Fayed was flying in the family 727 jet en route to London for movie confabs when the plane’s hydraulic system went out, 40 minutes out of LAX. Fayed tried unsuccessfully to make what he thought would be his final phone call to family as the plane dumped fuel, readied for a return for an emergency landing–safely. He took off by commercial plane yesterday … Camp Good Times benefits from tonight’s 25th-anni showing of “The Graduate” with Dustin Hoffman on hand at the Laemmle. New Line Home Video releases the movie’s video today with a behind-the-scenes interview with Hoffman, who says he told Mike Nichols recently about the possibility of a sequel–in which he has an affair with his 16-year-old-son’s girlfriend. Nichols said, “I get it–you become Mrs. Robinson.” Hoffman laughed, “That’s right.”… Tony Curtis takes over for the late Tony Perkins in “If the Mummy Lives” now shooting in Israel. Curtis segues into “Naked in New York” for Martin Scorsese … Sally Kellerman is bicycling between the 134 freeway on “Mirror, Mirror 2,” and other L.A. locations for “Younger & Younger.” And she loves it. She also loves the recent response to her cabaret show and may open the new Tatou Club here in January … Bonnie Raitt and Don Henley headline a last big fundraiser by the Hollywood Democommunity, Sunday at the home of Touchstone president David Hoberman–the event to bolster Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein’s campaign. It’s co-chaired by Nancy Hult (Mrs. Sidney) Ganis, Jordan Kerner, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Peter Morton, Irving Azoff, Danny Goldberg, Jeffrey Hersh, Ron Stone and Hoberman. HE’S ONLY EXCLUSIVE to CBS for sports, so what was “NFL Today’s” Terry Bradshaw doing in confabs with King World’s Michael King and Ernie DeMassa? According to Bradshaw’s manager David Gershenson, they were talking talkshows, gameshows, reality shows for the talented Terry … Sidney Sheldon, who has written about women of almost every country, is off to South Africa to be a judge in the Miss Universe contest. He was in town to give daughter Mary away at her Sunday wedding to Bob VanDusen. And on Monday, Sheldon was partied at the shining, newly refurbished Bistro by Deborah Raffin and Michael Viner–the occasion, publication of Sheldon’s “The Stars Shine Down” (Morrow)–which has already sold 750,000 copies in two weeks. If it doesn’t go the bigscreen route, Viner will miniseries it as he has with Sheldon’s “Windmill of the Gods, “”Memories of Midnight,”"Sands of Time.” And they’re talking sequels of “Sands” and “Windmills”… Morrow announces a February publication date for “Desilu: The Story of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz ” by Coyne Steven Sanders and (Daily Variety’s) Tom Gilbert. In addition to revealing never-before-told personal stories, the book will be of particular interest to the biz, telling how Lucy-Desi built an empire of three movie lots, 35 soundstages and 3,000 employees in six years!
For all variety's headlines, follow us @variety on twitter