Action hero Jean-Claude Van Damme takes a career step backward in Nowhere to Run, a relentlessly corny and shamelessly derivative vehicle. Dog-eared project has a story credited to Joe Eszterhas and his Jagged ed ge director Richard Marquand (who died in 1987), with its central loner role modeled after the Alan Ladd classic Shane.
Van Damme is a bank robber who hides out on Rosanna Arquette’s farm. She’s a widow (the major plot change from Shane) with two young kids (Kieran Culkin – younger brother of Macaulay – and Tiffany Taubman). They glimpse Van Damme bathing nude in a nearby lake, and before long mama Arquette has seduced the handsome stranger.
The next day the quartet are at the dinner table matter-of-factly discussing Van Damme’s penis size and, with many reels to go, Nowhere to Run has self-destructed. But patchwork plot continues, with Arquette pressured by evil land developer Joss Ackland to sell her homestead.
At every key moment, Van Damme pops up, comic-strip style, to display his heroism, but his bread-and-butter fight scenes are so one-sided there’s no catharsis in them.