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Brain Smasher… – A Love Story

Set in Portland, Ore, pic concerns the adventures of two sisters involved in the smuggling and possession of 'the Red Lotus,' a rare flower from China supposed to hold the secret to world domination. Constructed as cliches, the sisters' characters could not be more different: the elder (Deborah Van Valkenburgh) is a botanist, the younger (Teri Hatcher) is a model.

Cast:
Andrew Dice Clay Teri Hatcher Yuji Okumoto Deborah Van Valkenburgh Brion James Tim Thomerson

Set in Portland, Ore, pic concerns the adventures of two sisters involved in the smuggling and possession of ‘the Red Lotus,’ a rare flower from China supposed to hold the secret to world domination. Constructed as cliches, the sisters’ characters could not be more different: the elder (Deborah Van Valkenburgh) is a botanist, the younger (Teri Hatcher) is a model.

Enter Ed Malloy (Andrew Dice Clay), nicknamed Brain Smasher, a macho disco bouncer. Younger sister gives him an expensive watch (from an old b.f) in exchange for protecting her. As it happens, the gorgeous model only seems to be a bimbo. After one brief lesson from Brain Smasher, she is almost as skillful a fighter as her mentor.

The witless script uses the same joke over and over: the black masked villains are continously referred to as Ninjas, despite their protests that they are Chinese, not Japanese. And in the midst of the chases and shootings, the guilt-stricken Ed stops to visit his mother.

Helmer Albert Pyun does his best to move the story fast, but not fast enough. Proficient technical credits can’t overcome pic’s deficiencies.

Brain Smasher... - A Love Story

Production: Kings Road. Director Albert Pyun; Producer Tom Karnowski; Screenplay Albert Pyun; Camera George Mooradian; Editor Lauren Schaffer; Music Tony Riparetti; Art Director Phil Zarling

Crew: (Color) Available on VHS. Extract of a review from 1993. Running time: 88 MIN.

With: Andrew Dice Clay Teri Hatcher Yuji Okumoto Deborah Van Valkenburgh Brion James Tim Thomerson

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